He pushed me away?

I met a guy a few months ago. He saw my instagram online and contacted me - we have a common friend. We chatted for a bit via messages - daily, he would send me a goodmorning / goodnight message and we got really close. We met in person and started dating. We fell for each other.
He is having problems with his ex wife - a financial dispute which may end up to court. He is a judge himself and wants to avoid going to court, as it would reflect badly on him. His kids are teenagers and sense that there tension between their mum and dad.

As a result of all of the above he's pushed me away... Just last Sunday we were together telling me that he does want me close to him and that I do fit into his life. That I am a good person and a quality woman. Him as a person he is very principled, and comes accross as a very genuine and sincere person... I guess, if he is not then he should be awarded an oscar as throughout the time we were dating / talking he made a genuine effort to please me, he would keep his word, remember what pleased me and treated me very very well... He only changed once the problems with his wife started and initially he told me that he felt that he did not have the emotional strength for me, but when we met I asked him not to push me away and he said he didn't want to, but didn't think he had the right to ask me to hang around... I said I would be patient...

Throughout the week, he's been very quiet. I sent him a message asking him for his news and he responded the next day saying:

I now have a new issue to deal with at home. Regarding us, my emotions and mind is elsewhere and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't feel it's fair how I am treating you. You deserve more, much more... I am sorry.

I responded saying that I am sorry he had more issues. And that for me he was the nicest thing that happened to me as he made me smile every day. And that from my part I was genuine in everything I had sai
  • Should I keep in touch occasionally?
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  • Do you think he will come back?
    Vote B
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For the time being I have disappeared. He knows how to find me and I can't help but feel that his last message was asking me to keep away... Maybe around Christmas I'll contact him to see how he is doing and ask if he wants to meet... But for now my heart is telling me to give him the space that he needs as if I stick around it and he sees how hurt I am, it will only add to his emotional pressure... So for now, I am just trying to heal my wounds and pick up my pride.
I disappeared after the break up, having explained to him that I understood and there was no bitterness. During Christmas we exchanged merry Christmas and happy new year messages. He called me 'my (followed by my name)' followed with kisses. He then started liking my photos on instagram and facebook. On my birthday he sent me a message first thing in the morning. Followed by another message saying that he saw my pic which he had liked and that I looked 'absolutely stunning'
This was followed by a sticker of a minion with a phone. I responded 'tnx, what are your news?' His response was, 'difficult to say in a message, let's say the kids and me are keeping healthy. Hope the same for you'. I responded saying ' likewise difficult to say in a message but healthy'. I said I'll be home next month and if he wanted to meet, he said sure :-). When I asked him what the minion meant he said the phone slipped accidently into the sticker without realising. Keeps liking my pic


Most Helpful Guy

  • I would seriously back off and let him initiate the contact. If he doesn't, then stay strong and move on.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Keep in touch. Sometimes when you're dealing with a lot, you end up not being in as much contact with people as you'd like. When it's all finished and you're less stressed, you're in much more regular contact. He could just be going through that, a lot of people do.
    Let him deal with his things, but keep things open. Let him know you're there. That's not to say you should be hanging on forever for a maybe, but just don't close the door fully just yet. Give him time to deal with his family and court issues. Especially with the kids.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • If he makes the equal effort to stay in touch with you. If not, you need to dust yourself off and hold your chin up high and walk away from the past. If you have to stay his secret to be his friend; in my opinion you should leave now before you lose all the wonderful memories you've made together. Be blessed my friend!


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