Is it a good idea to write a letter to get a girl back?

I posted this in "dating" but got no opinions. So I'm trying here:

I recently broke up with a girl I've been seeing for a short time, but it felt like ages because of how often we talked. This girl has been out of the dating scene for a while, stuck in a bad marriage that recently ended. Her history makes her scared of being abandoned, not confident in herself, insecure. We both had very strong feelings and both had our fears about being hurt because of our own respective baggage. There was a lot of up and down, back and forth, on and off in the last three weeks. And just when things seemed like they were getting better, the whole thing collapsed this weekend.

I'm trying to move on and respect her wishes, but so far I've been depressed. We've broken up before and she's reached back out to me. This time, it could go either way. I'm wondering if that's because this time, instead of fighting to get her back, I told her I've said all I can and I can't keep having the same conversation. This was during a phone call which she placed to me to apologize for the night before, after which she told me we had to be done. I really didn't know what else to say. We texted for a bit after that but now it's done. There are a few things I need to say and I can't shake the feeling that there's more I can do to salvage it.

I've only ever written a letter to get someone back once before, but it was after the final nail had definitely been hammered into the coffin. I'm not sure that's the case here. Hollywood tells me sending her a letter in two weeks is a great move, but I'm not emotionally sound enough right now to judge whether that's really a good idea or not. In real life I don't know if it actually works.

Girls - any insight on letters you've received (not during a relationship, but shortly after, when the guy was trying to get you back). How did it make you feel, etc?

Guys - ever done this? Did it work?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, I would send it. It's up to her as to how she responds. It has worked for me before, but also has not worked for me before.

    • The last time I did it it didn't work, so I guess I'm due for it to work this time. Plus last time was a whole different situation. A lot more hostility and animosity.

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