Boyfriend says he needs space what do I say to that?

At the weekend my boyfriend and I had a massive row! We've spoke a couple of times since then but only short sentences and haven't seen each other. He said he needs time to think about things that he's sorry and needs space. Hearing that scared the crap out of me !! This happened Saturday night/Sunday morning, we last spoke on Monday night when he said he was sorry and needed some space it was too full on - even though he way the one being very full on, I hate not speaking and wanted to message him to let him know that I know he's really stressed with his new job and other things and that I respect his need for space but that I'm here for him and love him. How do I word this? :/ I love him so much and we had spoke about the future settling down and this came out of the blue because he was totally normal until he got very drunk on Saturday night.
I think we've just spent too much time together recently and with drink at the weekend we both lost it with each other. I don't want this to be the end though. How do I make the first move but without pressuring him or making him feel more stressed? please can someone help me word a way to say this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would give him the time an space he asked for. I would wait until the end of the week or weekend and then try to contact him. Just say what you said here, that you know he is stressed with the new job and you both have been in each others hair a lot recently. Tell him you didn't mean to smoother him. Tell him you miss him and love him and hope he wants to see you again. I disagree with the other comment that "space" leads to disaster most of the time. Every couple fights. It is common for any relationship to need a bit of a cool down period or reboot.

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    • I'll message him Friday night or Saturday morning, its so hard not speaking but I'll make sure to do it. He was telling me on the Friday how much he loved me and how he wasn't going to go on a bender on Saturday but he ended up doing it and we had the massive argument. We've never really had a big argument before and I guess I'm just scared that no contact will mean splitting 😔

    • The more someone means to you, more emotional it can get for both. I am sure you will be back together in no time and the make up sex with be amazing! Good luck!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I honestly think the best thing to do is give him his space. Anything you say will only drive him away. He said he wanted space, so let him have it. No text, no call. Wait and see if he gets back to you, which, if you leave him alone, he most likely WILL do. If someone walks away mad, the best thing is let the work through it alone. Anything you do will seem pushy and have the opposite affect.

    Normally I'd say prepare for the worst, "space " seldom turns out well. You mentioned, though, that he is under stress. In this case I'd just leave him be for a few days to work out his issues.

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    • I really want to give him space and not speak it's just so difficult when we were speaking everyday! :( I will stick to it though and not contact him. He's at a wedding this weekend which he knew I was very worried about as his ex partner is going too! I feel physically sick at the thought of them near each other when we aren't speaking. We spoke about it a couple of weeks ago n he tried to reassure me that I had nothin to worry about n thinking now, I do think some of the bickering lately has all been about the wedding this Saturday. It seems so long away, he lived here at mine half the week so the house is so quiet without him n I almost feel a bit lost when its a night he Is usually here. When he said he needed space I freaked and cried and his response was I need time to think and space I'm sorry. I responded by saying can u send my keys back and I'll pack ur stuff for u to collect and he wouldn't respond to that, making me think there is still hope and that its a rough patch?

    • Yikes. So much for you to have on your mind :(

      My best advice... get out there and get busy with friends, family etc and leave the phone home so you're not tempted to call or text.

      Your only and best hope is to leave him alone. No amount of worry will stop him from talking to the ex but your actions may play a part in what he does from there.

      So hard, but stay strong. I repeat , go get busy.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • What kind of man needs space? I mean seriously, I bet he is doing dirt that's why he needs space. Plus you started talking about settling down that's a big red flag.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's probably best if you don't sent the message, especially because he wants space and messaging kinda kills the point of that.

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