Ultimately getting over my ex... just can't seem to do it?

It's been a year and half since I split up from my last serious girlfriend. Long story short it was more of a sad break up than a angry one. I loved her intensely as a wonderful person, close friend and a soul mate. However I lost physical interest in her about half way through the relationship. This became a growing source of frustration for both of us. She felt like she wasn't attractive enough, I felt tempted to cheat (which I didn't). She's actually very cute but I just lost sexual interest for some subconscious reason I could never pin down. I was very angry and frustrated with MYSELF.

I did consider asking her for "a break" to figure things out on my end... but I could never muster up the courage because I didn't want to hurt her. Instead I intentionally sabotaged the relationship to purposely make her lose interest in me so it would be easier for her to move on. In a twisted a way I acted like a jerk because I really loved her...

Anyway I was not all surprised when she broke up with me, but I told her "there is a part of me that will always love you". That was true. However she put down the axe HARD. She wanted absolutely no communication, friendship, etc. She brutally stuck to that. I can understand that would help her move on. However after spending a year with her I would think she let me down with gentler hands.

Anyway I've had flings with four different women since we split. They were nice distractions but very fleeting. I just wish to God I could have at least a nice conversation with my ex. I did send her a final email about my true feelings about 3 months ago. I said I understood why she did what she did. I also said she might not ever fathom how much I missed our friendship. I concluded that it would be my final message... and it has been. Never got a response.
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  • You said it. You acted like a jerk and she broke up with you. maybe the next serious girl you won't make the same mistakes. But as for this one, it's over. She obviously has no interest in you

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  • I think it's late to make it work but who know you may get second chance

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    • I don't want to get back together with her. However I miss the friendly conversation. Miss it very bad.

    • I think if you find new nice girl she will fill the space

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