Do you find it selfish how people leave relationships?

I know our own happiness is what should matter the most, but I really find it unfair and selfish sometimes how people just leave other people and break their hearts because they are not satisffied with the relationship.

I really find it selfish, i dont know, I've been dumped before and its just something out of control and really breaks our self esteem because we feel as if we werent enough and didn't even care about how we would feel.

what you guys think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it's a tough one and I would say it depends really on the severity of the situation, for example if a woman leaves a guy because he was taking her for granted, taking advantage of her and was physically and emotionally abusive in this case she would not be selfish to leave him, but if the guy has only been nice to her and has treated her like a queen and still the woman leaves him because she got bored of him, or because there was no passion, then it would be a little selfish of her to do so.

    However it's also true that your happiness is what should matter most to you, what you want is most important and you're right on that one. It's a tough question to answer, it mainly depends on the situation.

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What Girls Said 6

  • People have every right to end relationships because they aren't satisfied in them. Why should they continue to force themselves to stay in a relationship when it isn't fulfilling for them? It's better for that one person to be honest and end the relationship, than disrespect the other person, and lead them to believe they're satisfied with them, when they aren't. Who would want ignorance over the truth? It's selfish of the person who was dumped, to ask the other person to stay with them if they aren't happy. Both people need to be honest, so they can move forwards knowing the truth.

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    • true... but what about those people that tell you they feel empty in the relationship, make you suffer and tell you they love you but their actions are the whole opposite? but stick around regardless? what would that mean?

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    • thank you for your opinions, I appreciate it, made me think straight now. She doesn't love me, she just misses the comfort she felt with me.

    • Which means you've learned from your experience, and you have allowed yourself to move on, and you're mature enough not to get roped up in her crap again :)

  • How is it selfish for someone to end a relationship because they don't feel the same towards their partner any more and don't want to lead them on that they feel something they don't, in reality?

    I think it's more selfless than anything to speak up and end things sooner than later. Unless you'd prefer to be living a lie and keep them tied up in the relationship when they have no desire to be there any longer..

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    • true.. what do you think about my case?

      been in a relationship for almost 3 years, last months she didn't make time for me, told me she felt empty and was tired of the relationship because we fought a lot (what always was because of her and everything annoyed her)... we took a break, then we gave it another shot, everything was lovely and cool, we had plans about moving to another city, all of a sudden she decided to move to another city herself to do college because she wants a better future, she then broke up, days later told me she had it planned out, she told me that if she chose that place she would break up with me because she couldn't do a LDR, she then proceeded to tell me how boring I was, how she couldn't reach her goals with me because of my economical status, tells me everyone is HOT over there and she feels confident because hot guys hit on her everytime, but then tells me im her "love of her life"... i don't talk to her anymore tho, I ignore her texts bcus she's toxic.

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    • love is not forever though. It's not unconditional, people and what they want changes. Refusing to accept that and believing that 'true love' conquers all is what leads to people staying in toxic relationships, regardless of how abusive either physically or mentally, they may be.

    • this is going to take me a while to get over with, thanks for your opinions tho, i appreciate it.

  • I left my ex and no I do not find that selfish. My ex started taking me for granted and I did a lot for him and really cared about him. I didn't leave just because I was unsatisfied, I left because when I shared how I felt he tried to blame me because he was totally content. I gave him so many chances to improve and actually step up and fight for me, that never happened and I walked away w/a shattered heart.

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    • I also couldn't take that my ex was unambitious and lazy. I always encouraged him when he had ideas about careers and never pushed anything onto him. I always made excuses why this day/week/month he hadn't done anything to plan his future.

    • guess you had a bunch of good reasons then! did you truly love him?

    • I did love him, I had to fight my heart in order to break up w/him. I bawled my eyes out for days after.

  • Do you think it's less selfish to stay in a relationship that isn't making you happy for the sake of your partner? You say it hurts and breaks your self-esteem to feel you weren't enough. What about when you realise they've been faking for the last couple of years because they didn't want to hurt you but don't feel that way about you any more? Is it better to live every day in a lie that'll ultimately hurt you both than to end it so you can both move on? It's better to do it quick and be honest than keep living a lie surely. It's more selfish to expect that from someone than to want to move on.

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  • It really depends on the situation... Everyone should pursue their own happiness, of course. But I would say that if one's pursuit of happiness is at the expenses of someone else... well that cannot be real happiness. It's selfish.

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  • I don't think its selfish. People have a right to find love. Yes it hurts but in the end them breaking up with you is them doing you a favor. Dont you want to find love? I think a little heart break is better than a life time with someone and being unhappy.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I would say that if they didn't try to talk to their partner, take a look at themselves and wonder if they could do more in the relationship or at least try to work on the relationship in general then yes, it's selfish.

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  • Well if I feel like shit in a situation and I would feel less shit (maybe even happy!) In another, then it makes sense for me not to waste time feeling terrible.

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  • We all deserve happiness. But remember Karma. What goes around does indeed come around. Be it good, bad or indifferent.

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