Alright so I have been dating a girl for like 3 months. I asked 3 times if she would be with me , she said no and now she dumped me through text?

Okay so me and this girl definitely had chemistry together no doubt. Problem is, she is a single mother and I told her I don't like kids and I'm not a fan of marriage. This scared her and prevented her from engaging me in a serious relationship, I would ask, she would decline and that is the reason she gave me. I understood so I give her more time and more space. I spoil this girl physically, financially and emotionally and treat her like a queen and I'm great with her kid.

One day she loses her card so I give her cash to get through the week. I start working overtime and complain to her about it and she tells me its good because I'll make more money. I said she only thinks that way because I'm gonna use the money to spoil her. I was joking. She took it bad and said everytime I do something for her I expect something back, which isn't true. Since then she has been more and more distant. Fast-forward a week. I send her a text asking her to open up, and she Fucking dumps me. Saying that she can't be with me because I don't like kids and think of a different future are "other factors ". I explain myself the best I can but what can I say? I told her that the me not liking kids thing is a wall I put up so I don't end up a young parent but that I do like kids, and that I do believe in marriage both things true it just took me a while to realize.

It hurts because I really like her. I want her back but I can't see her in person for almost a week and she is distancing herself so I can't reach out to her. When I text she doesn't reply so I stopped. It's been two days what can I do?
  • Would you pursue her knowing that the two of you doubt you will last but don't know for sure?
    Vote A
  • Would you let her go so she can find someone she feels is a more safe option?
    Vote B
  • Would you ask to go back to the simple relationship you guys had before and give her more space?
    Vote C
  • Would you wait a few more days and see if she gets in to her right mind and tall then (keep in mind I'm going crazy thinking about why she doesn't want me anymore and the space is making me very anxious and stressed)?
    Vote D
  • Other, add your own. I need help.
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you didn't mean those things, I don't understand why you said them.
    It seems as if this girl took what was offered to her by you (knowing where you stood on the fence), and left when she felt the time was appropriate. It seemed as if she used you to benefit from the ordeal.
    Realistically, if someone told me that didn't want marriage or kids (both things that I want ), I'd leave immediately.
    She stuck around and temporarily gained from the situation.

    I know you like this girl , but judging by your needs , I don't think they meet hers.
    They clash.
    I think this happened for the best and that you should move on and find someone who shares similar views.
    I know you really love kids and marriage but you aren't at the point in life where you are ready for those things.
    The relationship was never ideal for you in the first place even though you allowed yourself to invest feelings.

    • I don't know it worked in the past so I stuck with the lies. I know it was dumb and I regret it because she didn't seem like the kind of girl who would try to marry me at 22. I just had my guard up and she had hers up bit I let mine down and she didn't. And no she feels terrible about that money thing. I don't think she was trying to gain.

      I do feel like she used me a little bit emotionally and like sexually. However I really do think she was just on the fence and was trying to do a test drive kind of thing. Buuut she didn't put her all into it because she was scared and had her guard up. I mean she dumped me through text. So while I see how it may look that way I know for a fact it's not. We were very comfortable with each other ya know and I feel like I pushed too hard and put too much on her plate as a single mother in college.

      As for the lies what can I do to make it right if she does give me a chance to talk to her? I guarantee she thinks it's all bullshit.

      Thanks by the way.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You don't want to get married and you hate her kid, why would she want to be with you?

    • That's definitely not what I said. But I guess if you could misconstrue that so could she. So thank you for letting me know I must clarify.

      I don't hate her kid, or any kid. I hate being around children because often times they have little respect for people and misbehave. I know a few kids I adore. I love to play with her kid until he misbehaves disrespects me, or throws a fit when I dont want to play anymore. But he is cool. But my body handles stress badly. I have stomach ulcers, I get acne, erectile MALFUNCTION. So I don't like being around kids all day. Mostly I believe this is just an excuse I use and will continue to use until I want my own, that way neither me or my partner will think it's an option. I was inconsiderate though, she already has a kid, so these mind games aren't good.

      As for marriage. Same thing it's an excuse so neither of us have it in our head. A lot of people say marriage has to be the goal but I think forever is a better goal. Of course I want to marry!

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