Final goodbye with ex tonight, please help me?

Tonight I went to my ex's house to return all his things after our break up the other day, its the first time we've seen each other in a week. I was strong and didn't cry in front of him I was determined to remain strong. I could barely look him in the eye as I was so close to breaking down. After I left he messaged me saying thank you and I seen him watching as I drove away. We've been speaking tonight since I left and for the first time in a week its been civil and we've been nice to each other! As soon as I walked back in my door I totally broke down :'( this guy meant the world to me and I thought we would be together for the rest of our lives now!! We had planned our future together and were discussing moving in. The break up came out of the blue for me and he said he was so sorry that he hasn't said anything sooner, he just felt that he wants to be single and on his own, he's got so much on his mind just now and he's sorry. I've totally broken down tonight and hit rock bottom. I suffer from depression and take very strong anti depressants, even through them its too much. This pain feels unbareable and I've never felt more suicidal. I've self harmed in the past, something he helped me with, and I dont even know how I am stopping myself from taking a blade over my wrists. Its all I can think about to take the pain away. I would give anything for him to walk through the front door right now its insane. I dont known what to do at all I'm a wreck


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What Guys Said 2

  • what I see that you're not a weak, but the way you dealing with things is useless. you've to accept the fact that some things won't be for you, and learn to estimate the unique things that you owned.
    I know it's hard for you to accept some changes in your life, but accept changes is better than give in to despair. you've to start paying attention to yourself and stop looking for your happiness in others, otherwise you'll find yourself alone and sad, but look for it within yourself and you'll feel happy even if you stayed alone. Don't worry, pain is a temporary feeling. so instead of give anything for him to walk through the front door, give yourself a fair chance to be a happy person...(because no one perfect)

    sorry for what a happened, but you're a sensitive person (not a weak) but you need more positive power to progress. just forgive yourself and start over.

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  • Just take a nap when it's over.

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