I was with this guy for 5 1/2 years. We went through a lot together. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and I stood by his side through every moment of it. I spent that whole year worrying about losing him to Cancer, then doesn't he kick cancers ass and dumps me a year later, 2 months after we went on the best vacation ever together. He dumped me over the phone when i called him one day, and said that I gave him no choice but to dump me over the phone. I never really got a real answer as to why he was breaking up with me. He just threw a bunch of shitty excuses at me like I never said I wanted to get married and have kids (which he told me he did on more than one occasion), he didn't love me anymore when just a few days prior to him dumping me he said he loved me and didn't want to be with anyone else. I loved this man with all my heart and I don't understand how I could feel this way about someone and they don't feel the same about me. I'm not an idiot. Why would a guy lead me on for over 5 years if he had no intention of being with me? I still love him... but i hate him at the same time. I know if he was to walk in the door right now I would cave and take him back in a heart beat even though I know I deserve better. Now I am terrified, I have no friends 'cause of him, no support system to help me through this, and I have no idea how to go about meeting new people weather it be for friendship or something more. I'm so lost and alone and I just want him back. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Most Helpful Guy
There is some key points that you'll need to get through for you to get to acceptance of this.
one you deserve better, that is good enough for you.
two if you love (d) him them realize he was facing death and the plain fact he wants more of a legacy (marriage kids) is not a bad character flaw on his part. timing yes that was bad but also good because he didn't drag you along or longer.
Now your character for supporting him through out that ordeal is amazing so that has something of sainthood qualities. You can walk away feeling good about that.
but this is the time to just accept that his motives are true and yours are too. however you do need to accept that everything happens for a reason and break ups are awesome! Seriously the person braking up is actually doing YOU a favor. He has cleared the way for you to find the person who you really are meant to be with.
Someone who wants the type of relationship you desire. Or may change your outlook of what is important to you for the long run.
To tell you what I tell everyone may not apply for you, since you may truly don't want marriage? i don't know you weren't clear on what you want you just said shitty excuses of his. FYI if you don't want marriage or kids then those really are not shitty excuses.
whatever, what i would like for every person to understand is that break ups are a hidden blessing and almost favors for you to find your twin flame. Someone that will never leave you no matter what. someone where love grows effortlessly, some one who was made just for you. There is a person out there for you and you don't even need to look for it. It will find you someday as long as you are focused and happy being yourself all by yourself.
Break ups make us realize how we are spiritually emotional. The new fresh time unconnected gives us amazing quality time with our Creator and that is the relationship that needs to be built. So we focus on our character defects and clear away all resentments and fears.
Nobody deserves for you to carry that into the next relationship possibility. So just take time to look deep within to benefit your amazing future with someone you will treat you hoe you deserve.0
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