I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We have a great relationship and I love him. Everything is nice and comfortable. Not the passion they show you in movies, but I don't think that exists in real life and realistic love.
The thing is that this is my first serious relationship and my first sexual relationship. Since I am 21, he is 24 and we've been together for 3 years now, you can't help but think about the future. We're thinking about moving in together soon.
I am happy about how we get along and everything is nice, but I've never pictured myself as someone that will only have one serious relationship and only one sexual partner her entire life.
This didn't use to bother me as much before, but now I am living abroad for a few months, away from him, and I get the chance to go to a lot of parties and meet a lot of cool guys, who I like. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend and hurt him. But I can't help noticing how cute other guys are and I like the attention when flirting with them.
I am worried that maybe, in the future, I will regret not "living my life" some more. I don't feel ready to "settle down". I can't help but feel curious about how it's like with other kinds of guys. My boyfriend is very nice, and I do like him. At the same time, sometimes I feel attracted to other confident guys, I can't help it. I wish I didn't feel this way, but I can't control how I feel.
At the same time, if I break up with him, I'm afraid of making a terrible mistake. We have a great thing going on here, which I know is hard to find. Maybe the whole "partying and living your life" is overrated and a lot of people told me they wish they had a relationship like ours.
Also, if I don't make a decision now, I think the more I wait, the harder it will be to break up, if some day I will realise that this is what I want to do.
I don't really know what to do. What's your opinion? Is a great relationship more important than partying and experiencing? Am I missing out? Or is it just overrated and not worth it?
Most Helpful Guy
Your situation sounds like mine... about 15 years ago.
My first girlfriend was in university and we ended up dating for 6. She was above average looking, and our personalities were very compatible. I could have seen myself marrying her. But in the back of my head, I always wondered what it would be like sleeping with other hotter girls, because I had never been with anyone else.
The curiosity progressed the entire relationship, and although I had never cheated on her, I too considered breaking up with her to "explore". When the relationship finally fell apart, I was free to explore the years of pent up curiosity. I was about 26 at the time, and over the next 5-6 years, I slept with all sorts of hot young girls.
However, no matter how young and hot they were, the compatibility was never there. Large age gaps (10 years) meant I was working 9-5 in my career while they were studying for 1st year college exams and going clubbing. Some girls had short tempers, poor education, no job, or a dead end job, which were all red flags telling me they were not going to end up as my wife.
While I satisfied my curiosity with regards to sleeping with other people, what I found was that finding someone compatible to end up marrying is VERY VERY HARD. By the time I was 32, I found myself in various states of singleness, friends with benefits or in a dead end relationship. Many times, I regretted my decision to break up with my first girlfriend - just as you are questioning it.
It may feel liberating to seek out other people and explore what relationships with others can offer. But I found that it often left me sad and depressed when I could not find someone who was a good match for me.
However, I ended up finding my match and am now happily married. So in my case, I am glad I got my rocks off and slept with other girls to get it out of my system. But, if I was still single today at 36 years old... I may think differently. I may have wished I never broke up with the first girlfriend.3