My ex prostituted women, dealt drugs, was an alcoholic, drug addict, etc, but I saw the good in him. He was extremely passionate and i stayed and tried to help him as long as I could. We broke up a year ago and since then he has consistently tried to talk again, telling me he will wait five-ten years for me, because i'm the one.
I will always feel strongly towards him. Is it possible for someone like this to change? He drove my trust to the ground and fucked me up mentally because of what he did, but I'm just wondering if it's every a possibility for him to really change and be a good, driven person? Even if it is in years?
Most Helpful Guy
Absolutely people can and do turn their entire lives around. I have myself. but my experience for those of us who have NEEDS to have an entire dramatic crash to even consider looking for a new way. First off the new life is foreign and unknown to us that seems impossible for us to succeed. At least that is the view when we are staring up from the muck. It was far more comfortable living a life of misery because it is familiar.
Our minds and bodies are totally infused how to cheat steel lie manipulate deceive and hurt others to gain an edge. those traits are common knowledge.
Being a nice guy wanting to good is not enough. Our lives are derived from so much packed down fears that we fool ourselves that it's not that bad.
people do not wake up on day and change on their own. So if you are waiting for that forget it.
it's like overhauling a car engine, but most people attempt to do so with the motor still running, and that is never a pretty result.
A total life change and mindset and belief system must be obtained for a successful recovery. our Creator must be given all of us the good and the bad and we must surrender all of ourselves to be guided to healthy living and loving as God intended us all to be.1
Most Helpful Girl
Please, don't wait for him.
He is a very toxic person in your life, and he needs to go.
You need to find someone that has a healthier mind and lifestyle.
Some things I can understand forgiveness for. But prostituting women, dealing drugs, being a drug/alcohol addict? How could you forgive someone for all of that. And isn't that cheating?
I can't imagine that your self-esteem is all that great, or else you probably wouldn't have been in that relationship.
I think you should work on your self-esteem and toss him to the curb.
It is always possible that he could change. But should you waste your time and mental health pining over him? Absolutely not.
There comes a point where you have to say "I choose me. You are not going to have any control over me, anymore. You are not going to take my heat and stomp on it over and over. I will forgive you, but I will not be with you again. I deserve better than the way you have treated me. I love myself enough to tell you NO. No, do not wait for me, because I am done with this relationship"1