Ex boyfriend said he needs time to think because he is confused about what he wants, and that he can't be in a relationship right now?

What does this mean exactly? We broke up a few weeks ago. I was his first girlfriend, and it's just confusing. Said he needed time to think about everything because he is confused. What should I do? I'm scared that if I give him time he will move on or be with someone else. He said "If I was to be with anyone, it would be you, but I'm not sure if I want to be with anyone right now" He's confusing me, we both decided to break up, but we've been spending time together still, and being intimate. We're taking time off right now, and I haven't spoken to him. What do I do? Help!


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it can be just about anything. It might not even have anything to do with you. It might be fear of commitment. It might be legitimate concerns. It might be something else going on in his life. He might be second guessing if you are the right person. He might have no idea what he wants from a relationship, or from life as a whole. This might really be about jobs/school/career/family. It could be almost anything.

    At that age there are so many things going on. Lots of things are going on and hitting from a bunch of different directions. I suspect that even he doesn't know. I suspect it's part of a bigger picture and he just doesn't know the what/who/where/how of his life. In other words, it may be a phase of asking "who am I and what am I doing with my life?"

    When he says he's confused about what he wants, most likely he means it literally. He really doesn't know what he wants, so asking and prying won't get an answer.

    As far as what to do. I don't know. I think you just have to have patience and wait. He has to work it out by himself. Maybe let him know that you'll wait, but you won't wait forever. You MIGHT be able to get something out of him, like something he's holding back, but I doubt it. And if you try, it could make matters worse

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    • So no contact, and not speaking to him will do me some good? Giving him space?

    • I don't really know what you should do. It's something you need to decide for yourself. You said that you broke up, but it doesn't sound like a clean break. Maybe give him some time and space to work things out in his head. But it's not something you want to let drag on forever. You don't want to be left hanging. You need some kind of closure. You need to know if it's time to move on. You might have to be the one who makes the break.

      Sorry if I can't give a better answer. I don't like telling people they should break up. I prefer to see couples stay together. But that can't always happen. One thing for sure is that you don't want to let it drag on forever.

    • Yeah, that makes sense. Thank you.

  • When a guy says that you say "when you make up your mind let me know IF I'm single." What he's really saying is "I just want to fuck with no commitment"

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    • Should I ignore him for awhile then? No contact?

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    • Bullshit. Reread my first opinion

    • It just sucks because we lost our virginity to each other, and it's hard to move on. Message me?

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