Most Helpful Girl
If you make it clear that her FEELINGS and HOW SHE FEELS is important to you, you will always succeed. Girls don't care much for logic. Sharing, understanding and respecting emotions is key. Kind of like a guy's ego. A girl's feelings are the same. She can be very sensitive if she thinks you're shrugging off her emotions (ridiculous as they may seem).
1. Listen: One way to enable this. 'Let's talk. I want to understand what you're feeling exactly.' Women share emotions through talking. Make sure you're giving her your full attention. No multitasking here or it will backfire.
2. Understand: In order to show that you understand you need to confirm it verbally or with body language. Simply looking attentively at her will convey this. Do little or no talking. If you must speak say, 'Wow... so that's how you felt.' And look like you really mean it. Nod and be engaged. Don't just look like drywall or like you're mentally spacing out, cus she'll think you're not listening and if you're not listening, how the heck are you supposed to understand or confirm. You can say 'Wow, you have the right to be angry. Anyone would be angry about that. I was a freaking idiot and didn't realize how much that could affect/hurt you.' (saying things passionately will earn you extra credit, but be careful that it doesn't sound fake).
3. Relate: *Passionately* (emotion is key here) relate something that made you feel similarly upset/sad/betrayed whatever. Just be sure to give her credit for being more upset over her situation, lest you belittle her. If you sound nonchalant, or say that your experience wasn't a big deal and you got over it, this will also backfire.
To do all 3 in one session, is like the ultimate compliment for any woman.
I was upset at my brother, basically chewing him out and he stopped what he was doing, listened and then said 'i know exactly how you feel bla blabla, and that really pissed me off... bla bla and he was feeling pretty strong about it. I was completely dumbstruck and my anger melted away completely.
If you have an ugly habit, be careful because it can make it seem like you're disregarding her feelings by continuing to do it. If you're still struggling to remember to do or NOT do this habit, in the meantime just assure her that her feelings are really important to you, but you're a doofus and you keep forgetting this/that task. Beg her to be patient with you. And encourage her to vent whenever she feels frustrated.
She won't know what to do.