My ex split up with me a week ago, saying 'it's not you, it's me' and that he 'just doesn't want a relationship right now' out of the blue?

My ex split up with me a week ago. He asked to come round as normal, on a Friday like we always do. He then was being really off and asked if we could talk. He said he feels 'it's the end of the road' and said I'm amazing and that's 'it's not you, it's me'. He then said he 'just doesn't want a relationship, or anything right now'. The weeks leading up to it I noticed our conversations would get shorter and shorter. However, the week before was my birthday and he took me out and bought me 2 nice gifts. He didn't make any effort to book anywhere himself though. He just kept saying 'where do you want to go? Book somewhere' so I did and we went. On the Saturday he seemed to want to rush off after we had drinks and said he was going home to 'work on his essay and play Xbox'. It was supposed to be my birthday weekend so of course this hurt. I just cannot understand what went wrong, it's like we broke up without a real reason. To add to the confusion, he continued to follow me on social media. Whereas I unfollowed him immediately, and now he finally has. I just want closure on to why this ended. And because I was so hurt inside when he was breaking up with me, I didn't shed a tear and agreed with him because I would hate for him to see me hurt as I would feel weak. Have I done the wrong thing by agreeing when really I'm so cut up inside?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i'm sorry you're hurt. break ups always suck

    you're looking for closure but you got it. he ended the relationship. he gave signs that you mentioned... shorter conversations, no plans for your b-day, cutting the night short to do homework and play video games.

    the still following you on social media is inconsequential.

    now the desire to "come around" Friday is odd and i think you should cancel those plans because it definitely blurs the lines of what is supposed to be happening here. you need time to heal and move on

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    • I think the "come around" was the breakup, not after the breakup. I agree though. He might have been checking to see how she was handling it (ego/concern?), but that's about all the closure most people offer when they want to end things.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you did the wrong thing on agreeing. I understand maybe you would have liked to inquire more about why the relationship ended out of the blue, but whatever the reason is, he's not willing to continue with the relationship, he didn't give you a chance to fix something, he just made the decision on his own. So what else could you do? In my opinon you did the right thing.
    If you want further explanations you can always ask him, but honestly, I think that'd be useless.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • How long have you dated? It seems he's just not into you anymore... sorry.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I am sorry to read this. Breakup really sucks. But time heals everything. You did the right job girl. Don't waste your time behind a jerk who didn't take your feelings seriously. If he would have been serious he would have made an effort to mend your relationship if anything was wrong. Now cheer up and move on. Block him from your life. In future a real guy would show up who would care truly about your feelings:):)

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  • This is how my 2 year relationship breakup happened & literally a week or so later he had a new girl. It's hard but you just have to remind yourself to take care of you... Asking for closure may be a good thing so then you won't always think about the what ifs... but my "closure" was him saying a bunch of BS & lies to try to protect my feelings i guess. It sucks how guys are sometimes, but whatevs; you'll find someone who won't leave you hanging like that in the long run!

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    • Sorry to hear that. Thank you for your response I agree I am going to focus on myself. Thanks again I hope you are doing well

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