Should I break up with him, or not?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We started dating right after I broke up with my previous boyfriend, and ever since he has had major trust issues with me and other guys, even if the guys are just friends. We have fought and broke up more times than either of us can remember, yet we love each other so much we can never stay apart for more than a few days at the most. My boyfriend is from another country and is not a citizen here, so from the start we've had a lot of pressure from his host family to get married and get citizenship and everything. I've been to his country, fallen in love with it as much as I did with him, love his family and friends and they all love me. But things are still very stressful in our relationship, and his jealousy has escalated to the point where he contacts every guy I am friends with on Facebook asking how they know me, assuming I'm cheating on him, accusing me of cheating or lying to him about where I am and who I am with. He promises to change again and again, and never does. Because of the way he acts, I have a few times talked to guys just as friends but hidden it from him because I was afraid of the way he would react. I cut off contact with the guys to make my boyfriend feel better, even thought I knew I was doing nothing wrong, but he still is convinced I'm continuing to talk, flirt and cheat. I love him so much, but all he does 60% of the time is make me feel bad about myself. Tonight we had a huge fight, and I just broke up with him for what I'd like to tell myself is for good. I know if we are officially broken up, he will go back home and I will never see him again unless I go there and find him. I want to be with him and I could see myself even marrying him someday, but I want to be with the man I fell in love with when we first met, before the jealousy and craziness. Should I break up with him, or not? What is everyone's opinion on this situation? I do love him, yet at the same time I see that there are a lot of other guys out there that could treat me right all the time, not just part of the time, and I also know that I can be an independent woman and not need a man but my heart breaks without him. What should I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • G'day,

    Sounds like he needs to pull his finger out of his arse and trust you a bit - Unless you give him reason to be suspicious.

    From what I read, it sounds like you're just being friendly with these other men, and if that's the case, then he's got to realise that yes, it is possible for a women to have male friends and that its no reason to expect that she'll cheat with everyone.

    Given how regular the fights are though - I'd consider looking elsewhere for a relationship. Given you're actively cutting other men from your life just to please him, is he doing the same with other women he knows? Relationships, along with trust, are a 2-way street, and while it sounds like you're giving, he's taking and giving bugger-all back.

    Good luck.


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