How to forgive an ex?

So my ex and I broke up a few months ago due to him not respecting my needs. He texted me a few days ago and I kept the conversation short and polite. He texted me yesterday after two month of NC asking about a trip I wanted to take when we were together.

Finally I asked him why he was contacting me. He said he just wanted to see how I was and stuff. I told him how much he hurt me and he told me he was sorry. That he hadn't forgotten me and he just needed time to himself. He also told me he loved me but I didn't believe a single word he said. I told him I would never get back together with him because he would probably treat me the same.

I ended the conversation saying I wanted a man who put my needs first and put me first. He hasn't texted me back since.

I don't think he will change is why I don't want to entertain the idea of us again, no matter how much I still want him.

I want to be able to talk to him without anger, I want to be able to forgive him. When I talked to him I was angry and deeply saddened by how little he valued me in our relationship.

How do I forgive him? Why do I still want him even though he hurt me? We were friends for a year before we dated.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds to me like you don't want to forgive him. You gave him an ultimatum: be more of what I want or be gone. You put the ball in his court and he didn't chase you like you wanted him to. You have to ask yourself, why would he come back? Why do I want him back? You drew the line pretty clear for yourself. Don't go back on decisions you made.


What Girls Said 1

  • Sometimes we just have to move on. Depending on what needs you're talking about.. just tell him.
    I want to be with you but I didn't like how you treated me and he said sorry and he loves you so if he changes his behavior then that means he was serious. If he continues to be selfish with giving you what you need then tell him
    You obviously don't care about me, I gave you another chance, but you don't care and obviously don't love me.
    But give him another chance

    • I wanted him to contact me more and make more of an effort. It always felt like everything and everyone else came first. I told him I would give him another chance but as friend. I want him to prove he's changed first.

    • Oh I understand. Hang out with him and tell him I want to see if you have really changed and if you want to be together again. And also tell him in your own words that you need him to
      Pay more attention to you, that you like to talk to him, and you don't like being put on the back burner (meaning put after everyone else)

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