What did I do wrong?

What did I do wrong?

Boyfriend and I had an argument. He ate a piece of pastry and the crumbs fell on the floor. I'd already cooked, cleaned, and wanted to just chill. I asked him nicely if he could pick up the piece of crumb. He said "It can't be. It's not possible. I didn't drop it." There were crumbs on the floor. I picked them up myself, and I said "there were crumbs on the floor and I already threw them away for you. Just don't tell me there were no crumbs like I'm crazy," sounding a little upset.

I sat on the computer to read and just chill out.

Five minutes later, he accused me of being angry still. I said, "No, I'm no longer angry. I'm okay now, I just want to chill and read articles for a bit."

He kept saying, "No you're still angry." Then we got into another argument about why I'm not angry. I kept saying I'm okay. I'm not angry.

He stormed off, and he said, "Fuck you!"

I tried to calm him down, but he was inconsolable. We broke up that night.

Two days later, he said he's sorry, but he needs time. What did I do wrong?

Another time, we fought because I said I don't think we're a good fit. He dropped me at my house and then sped off without saying goodbye. My thumbnail got caught and I was bleeding. I called him because he had my keys, and he was screaming, "Fuck you. I never want to marry you."

A two days later, he said: "I hope you are doing okay. I am really sorry that I was so angry. I definitely need some time to think. In the interim I want you to know that I care about you deeply."

This sucks.
When I fall in love next time, I'll take my time.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You didn't do anything wrong, but he knows that if you didn't think it was a big deal you wouldn't have brought up the crumbs to begin with. So when he came to talk about it, you saying you're not mad was coming off as passive aggressive. There was a problem with no resolution.


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What Guys Said 3

  • It's strange I don't see anything wrong with you at all.


  • Well the thing is, women do tend to not get over things. He knew you were still upset about it, yet you couldn't admit it, which in turn caused the big ordeal, next time, just be honest with him or well, the new boyfriend you get

    • What if we don't generalize... Only god knows, I let it go because I said it was not worth the fight. I was quietly reading. Why didn't it work? I just wanted it to work.

    • It was so frustrating. Some women want it to work too, you know.

    • I'm just sayin'

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