My boyfriend of 3 years dumped me last week and doesn't want to hear from me.
I feel terrible because I'm the one that once brought up the topic of my two deal-breakers long ago on the very first day we became girlfriend and boyfriend. I'm not demanding but told him if he ever cheated (whether it's physical or emotional) or any physical contact done in anger (spitting included) it would result in an immediate break-up and if he came back knocking on my door to apologize, I would close the door in his face. He reassured me it wouldn't happen. Never had that happened to me but just wanted to make sure because my aunt, my older sister and a couple female friends went through that.
Forward to Saturday of last week: I didn't cheat but broke the other rule when I was completely drunk (much more than he was), we started arguing and next thing I did is slapped him hard and started pushing him. Then I realized what I was doing (honestly I was shocked at my self at the moment) and as I tried to apologized, he said it was over and started leaving.
I've only called him twice and on the 2nd time, he did brough up what I've told him long ago and not to call again or else he's going to block my number. I'm leaving him alone. I totally screwed up big time.
But if any one of you have different opinions, you may feel free to comment. Guys (well girls can comment too) would this be over to you too? I have gotten drunk on a couple special occasions but never turned into a bad drunk and never hit anyone in my life. I'm still shocked myself. I feel disgusted.
- Yes, you totally screwed up, it would be over right awayVote A
- I would think about it first, maybe will end it, maybe notVote B
- I wouldn't break up over that providing you quit drinkingVote C
- Normally I wouldn't have broken up but would since you brought up the topicVote D
Most Helpful Guy
It would be over, even if you had not given that warning. Your hypocrisy does compound your culpability, though.
I'm actually not shocked by your behaviour, though. In my experience, women who openly proclaim to be against violence are often very prone to commit violence themselves. The same, by the way, goes for sexual violence in particular.2
Most Helpful Girl
Supposing you're the weaker one and he never was in danger to get really violated, I think he still has every right to be upset. And if you were a fresh couple, he'd surely think twice. But I don't understand how one rude moment can ruin 3 years. Even if you called it a deal-breaker yourself. I think I would give you a second chance. If there is nothing more to know about the both of you than the stuff you have written, I seriously cannot understand why he can quit 3 years this "easily".
Anyway, hope you will feel less terrible soon and that things will become brighter again one day.1