Confusing and difficult breakup! need advice, please help?

So my boyfriend of almost a year had broken up with me right before we had left for break on college. We had always had a very good relationship, and I can honestly say I loved him so much and I know he loved me back. It had been a little rocky the last few weeks since he had gotten in trouble a lot at school, he's in a frat they get in trouble a bit... and I wasn't always the most present because I have a life as well. I also am bipolar although I take my meds and it's very well under control, but in Novermber I did end up having a mild depressive episode, it was so mild I thought I must have had mono or some type of illness until one day I actually realized it was an episode and aksed him to go to the hopsital with me to be evalutaed, he came and everything was really nice and he was very supportive and loving. I had a very tough day mentally, and that night he came over and without any warning broke up with me telling me I was ruining his life and blaming me for problems I had no involment with... So i'm not sure why he really broke up with me.. but We had talked afterwords and he still blames me for a lot of things that aren't my fault, etc. but I do love him. My problem is I'm stuck, because 1. I understand being with someone who has a mental disorder is not for everyone and I can forgive him for not being able to date me.. BUT i can't just excuse what he did to me and let him back into my life after i'm in a better state while he skips over supporting me through an episode. and also since we have been back home he refuses to talk to me, even though he told me not to move on or talk to other people. I just am so lost, and when I asked to talk he said he'd call when he had time and that was a week ago and never did. This is all putting me through much distress mentally and is hard to let go because how much I do love him and how well everything was... I just don't get how this all went so wrong so fast. please help!


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What Guys Said 2

  • you don't have to be a different person for other person, you don't have to carry the blame in order to satisfy other person. but you've to accept that you did your best, and that was a difficult for you. it's time to do your best for (YOU) and giving yourself the option to take back control to your life.
    I know you've a feeling for him, but the most difficult battle in life when people make you become (someone else).
    do you have any backup plan or not yet?
    (I mean backup plan includes your life and your happiness, in case things get worse)

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  • just think that the past is the past and that u r not the girl he dated and he is not the man you liked and that makes this easy because u dont want a 2.0 version of his buttheadedness

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's so unfair to you! He is what you call a "fair-weather" friend... as soon as storm clouds appear, they ditched you. He shouldn't have ever acted supportive or he acted like he was going to help you after you trusted him enough to reach out to him.

    Can you imagine doing the same to him if he was in distress? If you had promised to help him and be there for I'm and then left him hanging high and dry?

    Relaionships are hard enough when two people are fully committed to working things out. But you're selling yourself short by staying with a guy who doesn't care about you the same say you care about him and especially one who blames you for problems that aren't even your fault.

    And it is so unfair for him to keep you hanging in limbo and telling you not to move on. I think you DO need to move on from him and focus on yourself. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't be causing you extra distress when you already have difficulties. But I think you do realize that you deserve better. And don't blame yourself or let him blame you because of your bipolar illness. It honestly sounds like it had little to do with that.

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