I can't get my ex out of my head. It's been 3 months?

i just don't understand. The whole relationship itself lasted almost 3 months... He broke up with me in the most apathetic way, saying that texting me has become a chore and that he's not ready for a relationship right now because he has school, but he really likes me and said he was sorry in a really cold way. I just got up and left, we haven't spoken to each other since the incident and I haven't stopped thinking about it since and I just can't seem to forget him, I just can't seem to stop thinking that I could've done something.

Please, I just want to stop thinking about it. It feels like I'm going crazy. Any advice?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Even a new relationship won't heal you at this point. Maybe is your feminine egoism that won't let you accept defeat or maybe you're truly attached to him. At this point, I'm afraid, you have the following three options:

    a) Stay alone for a while and try to get over it.
    b) Move on in a new relationship quickly.
    c) Go back to him.

    I would reject option a because if the three first months didn't work, there is no evidence that the following three or six will do you any better. You may risk to become even obsessed with him.
    I would also reject option b because being in bed with a guy and thinking of the previous one is totally disastrous (don't make me explain why).

    So let's consider option c. In special conditions it may work. For instance, don't return to him begging or crying. If you have common friends or common places to frequent just try to meet him by "pure coincidence". A party would be ideal. Then try to attract him (a mini skirt or.. you know better than me) and possibly lure him. Even if a sexually-based affair ensues, that will benefit you in the following ways:

    1. If it's your egoism that doesn't let you stop thinking of him, now it will be satisfied. And you can dump him anytime.

    2. If you're in love, the restart of the relationship may benefit you. In a more sexually-orientated affair your emotions for him may fade faster and maybe it will become easier for you to leave him later. In any case, he would fall from his heroic pedestal (in your mind).

    3. If you do insist to have him, the affair can go on (as far as it can go).

    4. If he have left you for another, you will force him in an awkward position. In a triangle the third person has always the upper hand.

    So, if you can't get him off your head, demystifying him is your best option.

    • Is it really a good idea to go back to someone who dumped me like I'm garbage? Also, why would I try to get out of my way to get him back? Plus we don't have any mutual friends, we won't be bumping into each other.

  • Well time heals some wounds not all but will with this. Try to stay busy and do not obsess. Stay away from sad song, sad music and keep company as much as possible.

    • But it's been 3 months... A bit more than that actually. I can't help but obsessing over it.

    • Well please do as I suggest. You are hurting yourself emotionally, mentally and physically by obsessing.

What Girls Said 1

  • First of all, you're not going crazy. It's perfectly normal to think about your ex for a while after the breakup. I recently went through a very similar situation. I was with a guy for about 2 1/2 months. He was my first boyfriend and we moved very quickly (I even lost my virginity to him). We had a great relationship with very strong feelings for each other, but one day he decided that he couldn't be in a relationship anymore because he didn't have time. He had a very busy job and was trying to get his bachelors degree.
    I was completely heartbroken when he told me this because I didn't want the relationship to end. After about a month he started texting me again. I thought that us keeping in contact with each other would be nice and would eventually lead into a new relationship. However, talking to him made getting over him even worse.
    I thought about him and our relationship and our break-up constantly. He was always on my mind and I would constantly wish I could go back in time and change the whole situation. For the last 6 months, he has been on my mind and it has affected my life in a very negative way, so I can definitely relate to you still thinking about him after three months.

    My advice to you would be to continue with no contact. Trust me when I say that keeping in contact with your ex is difficult. Especially if they string you along and make you think there's a chance for a future relationship. It's better to just cut off al contact with him, at least for a while. However, if you feel like you need more closure, it might be okay to send him a text saying something like "Hey, I know it's been a while but I can't stop thinking about you. I'd like to talk to you more about why you ended our relationship because I think it would help me feel better." Or just something to the likes of that.

    Hang in there, it's going to get better. You're feelings will not last forever and eventually the memories will fade and you will get better. I think right now no contact is best unless you really really feel like you need to talk to him about the break-up.

    Hope this helps and God bless.


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