I recently ended a friends with benefits because I fell really hard for him and he wasn't looking for anything serious. We have been friends for 5 years and he still wants me to be his friend and I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. But it is so hard dealing with ending our friends with benefits and still talking to him like everything is fine, because although everything may be fine for him, for me I feel torn. I am supposed to go to a bunch of shows to support a band he is in and I am friends with the other band members too. I really don't want to go because I know I am going to see him with other women and I am not over him yet. How do you maintain contact with someone you are trying to get over? Is it even possible? friends with benefits is stupid :(
Most Helpful Guy
1. Yes, friends with benefits is stupid. Often, one person enters the relationship hoping for more to develop, hoping that the other person doesn't mean it when they say they only want sex. Sometimes, these feelings develop once the relationship has begun. friends with benefits is founded upon a blatant denial of the reality of human emotions.
2. It is unrealistic to expect you to be friends with this guy when you long for more. He is being selfish and your efforts to satisfy his are just self-imposed torture. It doesn't matter that you were friends for 5 years because you were lovers. It is extremely rare for two people to be able to go backwards in a relationship.
3. Learn your lessons from this experience. Be honest with yourself about what you seek in a relationship and don't compromise and settle for anyone who offers you less than what you want. Protect yourself from unnecessary emotional hurt!
Most Helpful Girl
To be honest, I would tell him how you are feeling. If he is truly your friend, he will understand.
It might be best to take some time away from him to heal and move on. There is nothing unreasonable about not being ready yet to see him with other women. That would be hard for anyone to take.
As much as you want to be there to support your friends. You also have to take care of yourself.1