Why does he treat me like this? Help?

Split up with "him" about 6 weeks ago as he was being arrogant and not paying enough attention to me at all. Not answering his phone and only speaking to me on his terms.
A week and a half ago he was sending me messages saying he wants to see me and where am I etc. When I stopped messaging him etc he would do this. Three days before Christmas he send me a video of himself saying he was "so happy" and was in a at a party in a club with a girl. He sent me a video of himself at a club and when I looked at it, I realised he wasn't at a party but doing security. I agreed to meet up with him the next day as I realised that he was looking for a reaction and probably did this as I wouldn't meet up with him.
we ended up spending the night together with him being very affectionate apologising etc. (the first time Id agreed to see him in weeks)
since then he hasn't spoken to me and I got rightly frustrated and upset and asked him why he was blanking me. He got angry telling me not to contact him (which he has done before) told me he is seeing soemeone (which he has also said before) and then tried to call me several times which I missed as I was in the shower.
When I looked at my phone I had several missed calls and a message from him saying not to contact him, that he's seeing soemeone and then blocked me.
He has done this to me before.
im mentally exhausted with all this and will not go back begging.
Is he doing this due to rejection or what? We are both in our late 20s and I love him but can't cope with this anymore.
in a day or two or a week, im 100% certain he will unblock me and ask to see me.
Insight please? I want to go NC on him not to play games but for him to experience life without me and realise what he's lost.
Will this help? X
Thanks for your responses guys.
The man has me gone quite insane, with no self esteem left in me one bit.
Everytime I try to move on whether it's been a day/week etc there he is.
He's made me feel like I'm at fault, calling me names, provoking a reaction out of me saying things to me like burn myself, giving me the silent treatment etc. I finally had enough and went a little insane as anyone would.
And never ever again although knowing his pattern it won't ne long.


Most Helpful Guy

  • you won't be able to be happy if you continue to communicate with that person. you've to start to surround yourself with positive options, cuz the solution starts when you want and end up when you decide.

    Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghosts from your past, and cut him out of your life. start forgiving yourself, It allows you to focus on the future without combating the past. you can learn great lessons from your mistakes, while not denying the fact.
    start your life fresh and never look back.

    Good luck...

    • That's exactly what I need to do considering its a new year and everything.
      I've been emotionally drained with this behaviour and he will never ever change.
      Always making me feel like the bad person when i questioned him etc.
      Even the other day when I asked him what was wrong he said that if I message him again he will come to my work place and I "will not be happy"... He then tried to ring several times... All games. Said never to message him again (he's done this before then gets back in touch) When he said he's seeing someone I didn't retaliate, he then blocked me.
      It's a vicious cycle and he enjoys it whereas I have had enough.
      His ego is huge and I won't feed into it anymore.
      When he tries to get in touch again I'll ignore him

    • you need to stop giving others the option to destroy you later. start changing your priorities and the way you treat yourself by giving yourself a chance to learn from your mistakes, not just sitting in your room and blaming yourself,,,,,,, blaming will make you a person with no future and no present.

      what happened in the past is just one chapter in your story; don’t close the book, just turn the page and start fresh. getting rid of that relationship will give you so many options to move forward... like self-esteem.
      give yourself time to know what you need and space to be just (YOU). whatever what happened you've a chance to start over.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He treats that you way because you let him. You allow the push/pull quality of your situation to continue by agreeing to meet up/spending the night/taking calls/messaging etc. You are both dramatic and into the drama surrounding what you have created. Its a toxic, dependent situation which will just keep going round in circles because that's all you know and expect from each other. It's a draining waste of time.

    • I dont want the push/pull behaviour anymore. It's nothing to do with being dramatic, I really care for this man and miss him dreadfully.
      The reason I pull back is because he blocks me etc and then starts up again.
      I'm going to leave it and start NC completely as this is the only way to resolve this situation.
      I refused to see him for those weeks because of his behaviour and left it 5 weeks to "cool" down.
      I'm going to dissapear away from him and see what happens.
      If you really still care for someone, is this best? X

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What Guys Said 2

  • Woah. That guy is toxic. Um, maybe take a break. He's driving you crazy. You block him and block him good. Find some peace of mind.

  • Ending a relationship is extremely difficult for both parties involved. You both seriously need to move on and never speak to each other again. You both will only hurt each other from now on, so go your separate ways.

    • The difficult thing for me after I ended it is that he always messged me asking to see me after he told me to leave him alone and the blocking me etc.
      I don't believe he is in a new realationship either just a way for me to run after him... I WILL NOT be doing that.
      Yes, ending things are hard but it's the games etc that have started. The communicating, ignoring, blocking, belittling, telling me he is with someone, telling me to get lost if I ask him a question. I am done with him for good and focusing on me. I was willing to work on things but he just wants control. Things his way, his games. I'm done x

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