How to deal with this neglectful, shitty feeling?

My girlfriend officially broke up with me yesterday after becoming livid with me over a simple misunderstanding of text. We've had our ups and downs, but something like this should not have broken us up. Instead of talking to me about it, she would just insult me and refuse to hear me out at all. I've tolerated a lot of emotional outburts with her, not holding it against her and constantly loving her. She's been through a lot, but I tried my best to always be there for her.

Suffice to say it was best for the both of us that we broke up, however, I can't get this shitty feeling out of my system. I feel totally neglected and booted to the curb over a very simple misunderstanding that came about as a result of her actions.

It's the first time I've ever been able to act like myself with a girl and have her like me back, not having to play any bullshit games. Through my experiences acting like myself would have me friend zoned because of my genuine, kind hearted nature. It felt so damn good finally being with someone who seemed to love and appreciate me for who I was.

The fact that in the end she just totally shit on me for no reason, it came off like she didn't appreciate anything I had done for her, let alone all the good memories we had in our relationship.

How do I not let this experience affect future relationships? Right now I feel like this is a result of me being too understanding of people and their problems.
Forgot to say the misunderstanding took place this past Monday. She sent me a snap and I replied back on Tuesday, she insulted me after I replied back funny enough. Didn't talk to her again until yesterday.


Most Helpful Girl

  • One step at a time. For now, don't focus on future relationships. Focus on self-care, healing, being gracious to yourself, and moving on from this situation.

    This situation is not a result of you being too understanding of people and their problems. This situation is a result of a decision she made for reasons of her own. Do not internalize other people's choices because 9/10 times, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If her communication skills are so weak and ineffective that she could not even control herself for long enough to listen to you or at least pause the conversation until she calmed down, then that says a lot about her as a companion. I don't know how she's ever going to make it through any relationship thinking like that. I see you putting a lot of blame on yourself when it's clear that this girl obviously has some issues of her own which came up and created this situation; temper, irrationality, illogicality, lack of respect, and lack of consideration for your feelings.

    The best thing for you to do now is respectfully honor her wishes. Even if it hurts or makes you angry or hurts your pride. Outwardly, have a calm disposition where you respect her decision even if you're not doing so well inwardly. This is always the best way to deal with something like this. It diffuses and deescalates any drama and intensity plus it keeps your sense of self-respect in tact so that you don't become one of those pitiful, begging, groveling puppy dog types. She made her choice so accept it and follow her lead by deleting and blocking her from every aspect of your life. This is step one in route to healing from this situation. Out of sight, out of mind! The sooner you get her out of the picture and minimize her presence in your daily thoughts, the sooner you can get back to happiness, confidence, harmony, peace, and overall a healthy life and mind. I can almost guarantee that if you do this, she's likely to come to her senses and try to reach out again after being iced out and realizing she handled herself very poorly. By then, it would be up to you to decide whether you want someone so unreliable in your life.

    • I told her I was going to delete her off SnapChat and she returned in kind by calling me pathetic funny enough. Couldn't stop calling me a retard and how much I needed to stop talking to her, but she got mad that I was going to remove her...

      She texted me an hour ago saying she was sorry and didn't mean to hurt me, then followed up by saying she loved me. I called her and asked her why she said that, she replied by saying because she did. I then asked her if she loved me then why did she treat me like shit, ruin my New Years in turn, and break up with me. She just said it's complicated and didn't want to talk about it. I ended it there before I lost my temper.

      Fuuuck that really has me torn up and makes it seem like she's playing games. She knows saying shit like that will make me want to talk about everything and think she wants to as well. The problem is she seemed really sincere on the phone. I know I'm a fucking idiot for even answering her text, let alone calling her.

    • Show All
    • No not at all, everything that I needed to hear you hit right on the nail. I unfortunately don't have much experiences with relationships, and I can say this is for sure the first girl I loved. Thank you so much for your insight and advice, now I know the path I need to forge for myself to steer to my desired future.

      I've had a problem of putting myself down a lot lately, you're totally right, if I don't love myself then I can't really move forward, let alone expect someone else to love me.

    • Sometimes we're not meant to stay with the ones we love because there's someone more fit for our needs out there. Chin up :) Mourn the loss and move forward.

      You are very welcome :) Thanks for MHO. Contact me if you need more help or motivation.

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What Girls Said 1

  • That sounds very difficult I'm sorry for you. It sounds as though perhaps she had been angry or annoyed about something for some time though, and the text message was the last straw. It is difficult to not let something like this affect you, maybe stop contacting her now it sounds like you aren't compatible


What Guys Said 1

  • You are going to find that women are EXTREMELY self centered and think they are always right. It gets worse as they get older, too.

    You really can't win.

    Lower your expectations then you won't be let down.

    • Yeah seems like this is the case with girls nowadays in this superficial social media age. If they don't get their way or you don't agree with them, they'll just move on to someone willing enough to be their little bitch.

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