My girlfriend officially broke up with me yesterday after becoming livid with me over a simple misunderstanding of text. We've had our ups and downs, but something like this should not have broken us up. Instead of talking to me about it, she would just insult me and refuse to hear me out at all. I've tolerated a lot of emotional outburts with her, not holding it against her and constantly loving her. She's been through a lot, but I tried my best to always be there for her.
Suffice to say it was best for the both of us that we broke up, however, I can't get this shitty feeling out of my system. I feel totally neglected and booted to the curb over a very simple misunderstanding that came about as a result of her actions.
It's the first time I've ever been able to act like myself with a girl and have her like me back, not having to play any bullshit games. Through my experiences acting like myself would have me friend zoned because of my genuine, kind hearted nature. It felt so damn good finally being with someone who seemed to love and appreciate me for who I was.
The fact that in the end she just totally shit on me for no reason, it came off like she didn't appreciate anything I had done for her, let alone all the good memories we had in our relationship.
How do I not let this experience affect future relationships? Right now I feel like this is a result of me being too understanding of people and their problems.
Most Helpful Girl
One step at a time. For now, don't focus on future relationships. Focus on self-care, healing, being gracious to yourself, and moving on from this situation.
This situation is not a result of you being too understanding of people and their problems. This situation is a result of a decision she made for reasons of her own. Do not internalize other people's choices because 9/10 times, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If her communication skills are so weak and ineffective that she could not even control herself for long enough to listen to you or at least pause the conversation until she calmed down, then that says a lot about her as a companion. I don't know how she's ever going to make it through any relationship thinking like that. I see you putting a lot of blame on yourself when it's clear that this girl obviously has some issues of her own which came up and created this situation; temper, irrationality, illogicality, lack of respect, and lack of consideration for your feelings.
The best thing for you to do now is respectfully honor her wishes. Even if it hurts or makes you angry or hurts your pride. Outwardly, have a calm disposition where you respect her decision even if you're not doing so well inwardly. This is always the best way to deal with something like this. It diffuses and deescalates any drama and intensity plus it keeps your sense of self-respect in tact so that you don't become one of those pitiful, begging, groveling puppy dog types. She made her choice so accept it and follow her lead by deleting and blocking her from every aspect of your life. This is step one in route to healing from this situation. Out of sight, out of mind! The sooner you get her out of the picture and minimize her presence in your daily thoughts, the sooner you can get back to happiness, confidence, harmony, peace, and overall a healthy life and mind. I can almost guarantee that if you do this, she's likely to come to her senses and try to reach out again after being iced out and realizing she handled herself very poorly. By then, it would be up to you to decide whether you want someone so unreliable in your life.0
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