He lives with his ex-wife.

Well… this is always an awkward topic to breach, so let me just jump right in. My boyfriend of three years is living with his ex-wife and has been since (roughly) the same time we became a “couple”. A few facts to know before I elaborate further: she’s a lesbian (and yes, I’ve met her girlfriend), they have a son together (who is living on his own at the moment), and she moved into his house because of a financial strain put on her by her ex-girlfriend. It sounds like a soap opera – I know.

My boyfriend is older than me by quite a few years but I believe our love is true… at least on my part it is. He was/is my first boyfriend as well as the first man I’ve ever had sex (willingly) with. I’m acutely aware that this is a recipe for disaster… but I don’t have the inner strength to end our relationship based on superficial stigmas. What DOES threaten our relationship, however, is this ongoing situation with his ex. So here’s my question: what would YOU do? Am I wrong to be jealous? Do I sound unfair? Is my thinking in any way wrong? I’d really appreciate some guy insight here and please, DON’T refrain from blunt honesty. It might do me some good… just don’t be too harsh, please. My fragile psyche has really been pushed to the limits these past few years…

Thanks in advance! I truly need your help… ANYONE’S help…

Updates:
One more thing, if it isn't too much trouble: should I be worried about emotional cheating? I'm not sure that I can completely out rule physical... but emotional is something I truly believe is there. And it desperately concerns me.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • If she is a lesbian you've not a problem with him cheating, if you can't stand her it'll be over soon enough, and if there's just too much for you to handle well there's always a way out. I don't think you'll have a problem, honestly, but hey!

    I do know these things:

    1. It's okay to be jealous. It's natural even.

    2. You sound fair.

    3. Your thinking isn't far-fetched; it's a little panicky sounding but nothing unexpected.

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    • My heart was racing when I noticed that I had a response. I was fully expecting some horrible comment about how insecure I seem. xD

      Thank you, though, for what you said. It actually makes me feel a little better to believe I'm not the jealous bitch that he makes me out to be. If I can ask you one more thing... even though there's no fear of physical cheating, should I be concerned at all about the emotional attachments?

What Girls Said 1

  • I wouldn't be with this guy to be honest theirs too much drama in his own personal life that only he can solve out on his own, no you are not wrong to be jealous, no you don't sound unfair, and no your thinking is not in any way wrong.

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