Why do I love him?

My boyfriend of two years and a half years has told me a few days ago that he has been cheating on me for 4 weeks with a friend from sixth form-they have only ever kissed and never had sex. We both broke down when he was telling me and he still can't understand why he has done because he said our relationship was going great and I didn't even push him towards the girl. I still love him even though he has done this. He says he needs time to think about what to do because he would feel so guilty staying in a relationship even though I said I would give him a second chance. He's one of the best things in life despite what has happened and I couldn't imagine what things would be like without us together. I want to suggest having a break until we both clear our heads properly but I don't want to leave him. Is there anything I could do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You are the classic example i always use to explain why feelings aren't love.
    This is that typical I love him but i hate him kind of situation.

    So lets begin by repeating the obvious.
    Your feelings for him are not love! Crazy right? But its true. If you do not realize this you will become extremely confused, because even though you may hate him as a person he still makes you feel great when you are around him and he makes you happy by doing so. And at the same time you absolutely hate this asshole for what he has done to you.

    So lets do an obvious observation here. You asked Why do i love him. That means that in reality you don't. If you love someone its loving them for who they are, You find them great as a person and can live with all there flaws. You want to be with them because of who they are, not because what they do or how they make you feel.

    Judging your take you realised he is an asshole and you know you can no longer love him because of it. That means that effectively from this point you no longer love him.

    So how do we get away the feelings and move on? The best first step you can make is to really realise what i just said. That your feelings dont have to mean anything other then attraction, they don't even have to be towards him (Although in this case they clearly are). You can completely separate your feelings from him especially after you realised that you no longer love him. This however takes a lot of time and ripping him away from your life isn't going to be painless. But keep in mind that all feelings eventually fade, at that point there is nothing left between the two of you since the love seems already gone. So i do suggest you to start moving on.

    Now if you have been going in the back of your mind, your crazy sawno! I do love him, i think he is really really great he just made a terrible mistake and i am willing to accept this from him. I still love all of him. Then that would possibly mean your love for him hasn't gone away, just make sure you find out if this is the case or if your saying it to yourself because of how he makes you feel.

    If you still truly love him, stay.
    If you don't move away.

    I hope i managed to get my advice across from this crazy post :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • break up with him. he will do it again. once a cheat always a cheat

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