I don't want to get hurt again, how do I do this?

My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago. I was devasted and it took a while to realize it was really over. I loved him and will always love the person he was but sometimes I worry that I won't love anyone like that again or love at all. I have been seeing this guy for about 10 weeks and we have a great time together but I have this huge wall up now because I never want to be hurt like that again. It's not fair to him or what we are trying to build but the idea of being hurt like that again is very painful. I want to be able to open myself up more so I can give this a chance to explore what I'm really feeling and allow myself to really feel something for someone again. I am worried and a little lost?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Think that being hurt is indeed bad, but it can happen to anyone. There's always the possibility of getting hurt, but there's always the possibility of not getting hurt. You never know. So I think you should give yourself the opportunity of trying a new relationship. Being hurt isn't a rule, so you shouldn't think about it now. New guy, new start, new story.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh I know this.
    Rejection is a part of life and so is pain. Would you rather not have loved and lost than not loved at all? Eventually you must let your guard down but enjoy what it is right now and start trusting him with time. Don't rush it. You should let him know this so he will understand, I think it will lighten your situation in my opinion. I know I would appreciate it if someone I liked told me why they are so guarded and I would love them even more for a reason like this. Trust me when I say that you will love someone again coming from someone who was deeply hurt by their first love, took me a year to get over it and I was truly devastated during the first months. Time heals but just enjoy your time with this new guy. Who knows he might be the man of your dreams? True love takes time to grow.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Love doesn't come with a guarantee. No one can promise they'll never hurt you or leave you. People change and feelings change. So you just have to enjoy the ", here & now" and love like you'll never be hurt. If you don't , your insecurities will push away any guy who genuinely wants to be with you.

    Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, focus on what could go right. Don't allow ," what if,'s" to destroy being happy with someone.. right now ❤ , xx

  • You haven't had time to heal.
    This is why all of your defense mechanisms are up.
    You have to be open with your boyfriend about what's going on with you.
    He can help you through this, if you allow him to.
    The trust you build for him won't be easily established, but when you see that he is honest, respectful, and supportive, the wall you have built around yourself will eventually crumble.
    All of this is a work in process.
    You have to be willing and ready to move forward towards change for the better.
    Best wishes!

  • When you fall in love welcome it!

    • You need time to heal and you shouldn't be so focus or afraid to love! You need time to heal and love yourself.

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