So me and my boyfriend started dating in July. In November I started feeling that something was off, and went to check his phone (yes I know it’s wrong). And found out several WhatsApp conversations with several girls. One of those conversations (the worst of all of them) he was calling the girl to come to his place, saying I was travelling and we had a fight.
But i was at home, we were fine and happy (or at least i thought so...). We had a huge fight after that. He said it didn't mean anything. He said that for him it was just a 'game' and it was meaningless. He said he never cheated on any of his previous girlfriends, and hasn't cheated on me. That he would never do anything like that again, and would earn my trust back. So, I gave him a second chance. Because I love him. Couple of days ago my friend told me that in October (when I was in fact travelling, because I had tickets to Europe with a friend (girl) of mine -- which I had bought waaaayy before we started going out), an ex-work friend of ours (that is 40+, single and is -sorry about the term- a male bitch, always partying with many many sluts) gave a party, from 3 pm to 01 am. (It was a sunset party).
The party was one day before of my departure back home from a 15 day trip to Europe. My boyfriend had a friend’s wedding that same day.
So… My friend found out that my boyfriend AFTER the wedding went to that so-called party.
It was the opening of this ex-work friend new Beer he was brewing with friends. In which he invited several sub-“actress/models”, that in my country are deep down sluts, and all his male-friends. (PS: my boyfriend is not his friend/best friend or anything like that… they just know each other from work).
No girlfriends, no wifes invited, of course. My boyfriend never mentioned this party to me.
I texted him that day midnight, to let him know that I was already at the airport, and he didn’t answer his phone. I called him at 1 am, and he didn’t answer his phone. I called him again 2 am, to ask if I should by something at the wine shop, and he didn’t answer his phone. I thought, at the time, that we has already asleep.
The next day he only “visualized” the texts at 11 am.
So, what happened? Has he cheated? Will I ever know? Should I give him another chance? Did you guys think he did something wrong? Should I break up?
Please be gentle with me, because I’m really hurting right now…:(
Sorry for the long story.
Yesterday I said to him that I need to talk and he came over my house. I was direct to the point and said: I heard that you went to that party and asked why he hasn`t said anything about it at the time (since we were actually texting atm he went). He said that he did go and didn’t told me because he didn’t want to fight, because I wouldn’t let him go and he really wanted to go, and he also said that ‘I don’t like his friends’.
Most Helpful Guy
Maybe you should separate for a while and see if he proves he cares about you enough to go after you. Wondering eyes this early on in a relationship are red flags. If you do engage with him further to where the future of you two is headed. I suggest counseling because he needs to get a grip on his cheating and hopefully it will strengthen the relations. Through transparency, honesty is he even remorseful? Or just sorry he got caught?1
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Most Helpful Girl
just a 'game' Thats the dumbest thing I've ever said, no one goes out of their way to flirt with numerous amount of girls and tells them to come over as some sort of game. You already don't trust him, you want to but it'll never be really there. You should ask him why he hadn't replied and if he went out after the wedding, just ask him straight up, you may not have been there but your mates tell you everything so I would go on their word. You know him better than anyone else on this site, just ask him and honestly though I wouldn't give him another chance, he just sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too, even if he never physically cheated, he's thinking about it1