Why did my ex do this...?

my ex called me Thursday night 2 times in a row and I didn't answer then she texted me "HELP ME PLEASE" so I called back and she didn't pick up...i went into her work the next day because I work out where she works and asked her what happened - she told me to leave her alone and that if I didn't stop talking to her shed never get over me, then she added later through text that she was seeing someone and blah blah...i was like whoa we told each other we wouldn't talk about guys/girls with each other - I mean that was a low blow - is she just screwing with my head to get me to leave her alone? is she trying to make me jealous? I was completely content with leaving her alone and letting her figure out if she really wants me or misses me because shed have no idea if we didn't talk - but I couldn't leave the "PLEASE HELP ME" text along without knowing if she was OK as a friend...i was literally planning on not talking to her, till she contacted me - I still want her to know I care about her deeply - my b day is in march, I'm not going to say anything to her and if she texts me on my b day ill say 'thanks' and that's it - should I a few weeks after that send her texts like 'thinking of you' 'i miss you' randomly every now and then to remind her I still do care? I was literally set on moving on and not talking and giving her 100% space and then she dropped that on me and now I can't but keep her in my mind again...why is she doing this!

Updates:
she blocked me from Facebook because she "stalks" me lol, I guess according to her and she said she blocked me to make it easier on her - I mean aren't those signs she still cares and loves me? weather or not I still need to let her be
gaining trust back takes time, nothing will happen over night, I understand this..i just hope shell give me a chance to prove I am different and not that 'other guy' she dated - she said 'maybe, I need time to forget the past or it won't work' who knows
asked her the same day if without hesitation, she could say she didn't want me back ever and of course she said "yes"...one day she cares about me, the next day she hates my guts...i guess time will help her forgive and come back if its meant to be...
ok what the hell...after telling me to leave her alone completely(as I was actually doing) she JUST texted me...telling me if I have time to drive by her old house and how she cried because everything was gone and it was very upsetting...
its like she NEEDS my attention, she didn't have to tell me that? - anyways I'm not saying ANYTHING in response, I'm staying to NC so she can think about if she really wants us to work..girls are crazy now she's back to being "cool" again and not hating..

0|0
97

Most Helpful Guy

  • 1) Quit playing games. It's messing with your head and hers. If you like her and miss her- say so. You identified that your giving her time, for what?! If you both like each other and miss each other, date. If not- don't stick around to change that decision, just allow it to happen naturally over time or not at all.

    2) SUPERB job with trying to help her even as a friend. I applaud you and thank you a million times or more for immediately checking if she was safe and okay. Yes, she was probably messing with your head during that text by trying to use something she knew about you to get in touch as quickly as possible. She knew you would come running if she was in danger, so she targeted that because she likes your devoted attention and ultimately, because she likes you.

    3) The girl seems a bit psycho bro, I won't lie. Seriously- that was such a mood flip I would instantly be turned off and in shock. Infact I would probably say calmly "What the f...? I come running to see if your okay and you're treating me like this, what gives?" If she didn't have a logical explanation in store that sounded 110% legit to myself and helped me understand where she was coming from, I would move on; however, from my experience girls that act this way usually try to make things your fault to keep you tied in. That's emotional abuse of who you are as an individual because of their own emotional instability. Move on immediately or help her identify ways to overcome this without trying to use that against you again.

    4) Talking about other girls and guys / agreements-- Dude anything goes, you both are single. Even if you made an agreement not to talk about it- it's up to you to call her out on this and say "Hey, I'm not interested in hearing about other individuals. We spoke about that, I'll see you later. When you decide to avoid those topics we can talk further". Just hold a calm tone and be assertive. It will give you a stronger backbone to handle future situations of similar types, without needing to belittle her or yourself in the process. Win/win in my opinion.

    You sound like a really cool dude and I wish I knew you in real life man. You handled the situation exactly like what I would have done in the same shoes. I applaud you again for helping her out, but make sure not to allow yourself to be emotionally abused, it will consume your energy and cloud your judgement down the road of doing similar things. Especially if you are used consistently. People with caring hearts are targeted a lot, so your main priority is to develope the backbone that says "I can check on her, but I won't be a human punching bag for her emotions".

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    1|2
    0|0
    • Thanks man I appreciate your advice...i know she loves me and she told me a million times shell never feel the same for anyone and then sometimes she hates my life lol - crazy. well we are young, we should be doing this NOW and figuring out if those words said are TRUE and if we really won't feel the same with someone else...i know I can't talk to her because then id be swaying her decision in a way-she needs time to be away from me to understand if her feelings are true

    • Show All
    • Hey thank you man- equally to yourself. It's been fun listening about the ex, but I truly hope everything works out for the best. You sound like you've taken the right steps and handled it all correctly. Just remember, you're her friend, not her psychiatrist ;)

      Thanks for the BA by the way. it's appreciated too

    • Right on, good answer

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 9

  • WOW. This girl is definitely playing games. I think she still has mixed feelings for you, and is still in the "post-break-up" phase, but obviously she doesn't know how to handle it well.

    If I were you, I'd call her out on it. Something like, "look, I care about you as a friend but I still think we're both getting over the relationship and we need time and space away from each other. I'd appreciate it if you would let that happen - I think it would be best for both of us."

    1|1
    0|0
  • she is being manipulative. do not listen to what she is doing. she is trying to get you in trouble and this is evil of her to do so. I believe once a relationship is over, it is over. you may or may not have done something to instigate her vindictive behaviour.

    until then, you should stay away from her because she sounds troublesome.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well maybe she is trying to make you jelouse if she sees you moved on!The best thing to do is ignore it if you don't want her, but you care remember she only comes around when you ignore her so if she is saying leave me alone she may feel week and really is telling you hey I still want you but its Ben hard getting over you!Best thing to do if you want her confront her if you don't wanna be with her stop evolving yourself and ignore it if you do so she will keep trying if you want to make it work though than you confront her and ask her does she want you but it hast to be face to face if not move on there's no point on spending this much time on someone that doesn't want u!If she wants someone else leave her alone so you don't get evolved

    0|0
    0|0
  • Only my opinion, but she's playing you. I'm a 40 year old woman, and have had much experiences in my time. I know all the games and how to play them. She texted you knowing that when she put "help" in it, you would answer. She knew that you would chase her when she didn't answer, and blocking you from anything is just childish. She wanted you to know that she was seeing someone else. All this was meant to happen, she planned it. Don't let her work you all up, let it go and move on. Good luck to you and keep your head up.

    0|1
    0|0
    • Hmm that's interesting that she wanted me to know, I can piece it together kind of....she would have killed me if she was in my shoes but lol who knows what's gonna happen like I've said on other replies...if its meant to be it will be...ive adjusted (not changed myself) but adjusted to become a better boyfriend to anyone in the future, if she can't change her dramatic ways and assumptions I don't think anyone will want her, I put up with it for a while and I know this is not all my fault..

  • i think you should tell her that you still like her ! I mean if you do. and then if she is like leave me alone I already have a boyfriend then tell her to stop texting you cause she's the one who won't leave you alone! you sound like a geat guy! I mean you guys broke up and your still there for her ! when she's never there for you she she needs to relize that! beinga friend to her is still a great idea tho if she says she has a boyfriend then just try to comfort her when she needs it she will appreciate that even if she doesn't tell you straight up!

    0|0
    0|0
  • i think she still likes you, but maybe she is scared to simmit because she doesn't want to screw up, or from her past relationships doesn't want you screwing up?, you need to show her you won't do that, but you have to mean it, if you want her back...

    0|0
    0|0
    • How am I supposed to show when she told me to f off and stop talking to her...I can't be like "I miss u" I meanshe told me she missed her best friend but not her bf...it's like she's not gonna give me another chance till she's over our past I'm still shocked shetold me she was seeig someone...it runs thru my mind like crazy and I go crazy. Buy how am I supposed to show her I care with all this said?

    • Add me if you want and I can't try to help more :)

  • She doesn't want to be in a relationship but has mixed feelings and misses the attention.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Stay away, this girl will ruin you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • it seems that she's trying to make you jealous

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • Well I'm a little older than you BUT...I am currently going through the same sh*t with my ex. I have been blocked on Facebook but was sent Christmas cards to my house and my parents house. She called me crying and than got angry and she is with someone else also. I can understand your frustration. She is trying to control you. She wants to keep you in the picture if it doesn't work out with the other guy. It really is hard to remain friends with someone after a breakup. Me and my ex have mutual friends which makes it worse. She is seeing if you get jealous by talking about the other guy. Don't fall into her trap brother. TIME, unfortunately is the only thing that will help the you. She knows your a good guy and she is exploiting it. A woman can do and say whatever they want, but when you attempt at making things right they only wanna hear what they want. Don't change who you are for anyone. You can compromise with each other but don't change who you are. Is she willing to change? Don't be her door mat. Cut off communication with her for now or your gonna be in an emotional roller coaster ride. Technically you are single so take advantage of it. Hang with your family and friends. Remain positive, there are plenty of good woman out there. If it is meant to be than it will be. I did the same thing you did. Nice guys finish last sometime. Everything works out in the end bro...

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks man I appreciate it...we both do agree if its meant to be it will be...its just SO WEIRD why she would do that - girls are crazy...if I had told her about me seeing someone she would have flipped...its like uhhh whaaat? lol I dunno, for me being depressed about it is all about the time of the day...music is my savior...it really is...during wrk I think of her when I'm not busy but after the day is done I'm free minded! I know time is key - maybe shell see one day I am a better guy

    • And that I actually am who she wants, I think she knows that now and is a little scared to agree with me...she says she doest care who I am now and what we could have been because if I was the same guy as I was now a few months ago we'd be perfect, but we aren't...lol so who knows, I'm her only ex that she's ever wanted to keep in contact with, but I've made it clear I'm not hanging around...any advice on what to do if/when she texts or calls on my bday in march? ignore? call next day? call at all?

  • Well if my ex texted me please help, I would have done what you did call back and see if there was actually a problem, then if I saw her at work I would have said you texted me please help, what's the problem, and if she would have given me attitude, I would have said look you texted me please help now if you were drunk and messing around ok haha funny funny. I see that your still alive so I am guessing all is well.

    If she said she was seeing someone else, I would have said me to, oh and don't text me unless there is an actual problem, but I am not waiting around for you to get your head outta your ass, so as far as I am concerned we are over, your seeing someone and so am I, so lets stop with these little games and move on with our lives, ok bye now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • She's trying to play you trust me on this. It's a game to see how much you care for her and to see if your willing to do anything to fix it. I just went through the same thing,if I were you I'd get a job somewhere away from her. And did you see this other guy with your own eyes? If not then you might as well consider that a story to mess with your mind and make you jealous,pushing you further to do something to fix it or see how much you really care. Remember there is no creature more deceitful than women,it's proven throughout history.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Too much trouble! Find someone who cares about you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Like everyone else has said, move the heck on. She is crazy, but she will get over it; she seems to know you're there when she needs you, as a friend, now leave it there.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...