my ex called me Thursday night 2 times in a row and I didn't answer then she texted me "HELP ME PLEASE" so I called back and she didn't pick up...i went into her work the next day because I work out where she works and asked her what happened - she told me to leave her alone and that if I didn't stop talking to her shed never get over me, then she added later through text that she was seeing someone and blah blah...i was like whoa we told each other we wouldn't talk about guys/girls with each other - I mean that was a low blow - is she just screwing with my head to get me to leave her alone? is she trying to make me jealous? I was completely content with leaving her alone and letting her figure out if she really wants me or misses me because shed have no idea if we didn't talk - but I couldn't leave the "PLEASE HELP ME" text along without knowing if she was OK as a friend...i was literally planning on not talking to her, till she contacted me - I still want her to know I care about her deeply - my b day is in march, I'm not going to say anything to her and if she texts me on my b day ill say 'thanks' and that's it - should I a few weeks after that send her texts like 'thinking of you' 'i miss you' randomly every now and then to remind her I still do care? I was literally set on moving on and not talking and giving her 100% space and then she dropped that on me and now I can't but keep her in my mind again...why is she doing this!
Most Helpful Guy
1) Quit playing games. It's messing with your head and hers. If you like her and miss her- say so. You identified that your giving her time, for what?! If you both like each other and miss each other, date. If not- don't stick around to change that decision, just allow it to happen naturally over time or not at all.
2) SUPERB job with trying to help her even as a friend. I applaud you and thank you a million times or more for immediately checking if she was safe and okay. Yes, she was probably messing with your head during that text by trying to use something she knew about you to get in touch as quickly as possible. She knew you would come running if she was in danger, so she targeted that because she likes your devoted attention and ultimately, because she likes you.
3) The girl seems a bit psycho bro, I won't lie. Seriously- that was such a mood flip I would instantly be turned off and in shock. Infact I would probably say calmly "What the f...? I come running to see if your okay and you're treating me like this, what gives?" If she didn't have a logical explanation in store that sounded 110% legit to myself and helped me understand where she was coming from, I would move on; however, from my experience girls that act this way usually try to make things your fault to keep you tied in. That's emotional abuse of who you are as an individual because of their own emotional instability. Move on immediately or help her identify ways to overcome this without trying to use that against you again.
4) Talking about other girls and guys / agreements-- Dude anything goes, you both are single. Even if you made an agreement not to talk about it- it's up to you to call her out on this and say "Hey, I'm not interested in hearing about other individuals. We spoke about that, I'll see you later. When you decide to avoid those topics we can talk further". Just hold a calm tone and be assertive. It will give you a stronger backbone to handle future situations of similar types, without needing to belittle her or yourself in the process. Win/win in my opinion.
You sound like a really cool dude and I wish I knew you in real life man. You handled the situation exactly like what I would have done in the same shoes. I applaud you again for helping her out, but make sure not to allow yourself to be emotionally abused, it will consume your energy and cloud your judgement down the road of doing similar things. Especially if you are used consistently. People with caring hearts are targeted a lot, so your main priority is to develope the backbone that says "I can check on her, but I won't be a human punching bag for her emotions".
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