Is there an underlying problem?

Let's make this short: there was a girl who broke my heart and has moved on without even a care to what I'm feeling. I haven't seen her in three months and haven't spoken to her in two. Yet I sit there every day, waiting for her to text or call. It's pathetic because I know she's not doing what I'm doing and is instead going out and having fun.

What makes this more pathetic is that I KNOW that if she texts that I'll just ignore it. I KNOW that I want her to text to just make me feel wanted and have my ego boosted.

Luckily, I identified this problem and realized that it's probably an insecurity. Maybe it's that I lack self-confidence, which would probably be true, and that I've set aside too many things that I enjoyed in my life for the brief thing I had with her. And now I've just grown obsessed with the idea of her wanting me, rather than thinking about wanting to be with her as a person.

Has anyone else faced this or known someone who's acting like me, and what do you suggest I do to get out of this? I know, logically, what I need to do, but I'm having trouble FEELING it emotionally, if you know what I mean. So those two things are battling it out.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think your self assessment of your issue is quite mature and honest. Now, my insight tells me this about you wanting her to text, but you wouldn't answer . . . Did she treat you really well? Did she do things for you that made you feel really good? Did she lift you up, put you on a pedestal, and make you feel almost high? If so, then this is why you're feeling the way you do. When she left she took the confidence and self love that lacked in the first place. You have to find these things on your own. Build yourself up like no other. Find things that make you happy and confident. What are you good at? What do you like to do? Activities? If you have none, then you better start looking long and hard. We all have passions, but sometimes we must search to find our nitch. Now, the fact that you wouldn't text back is because maybe you feel that you couldn't live up to her expectations or love her the way she loved you. That's hogwash! Yep, that's what I said. If you love yourself enough, then you can love her back the same.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Yeah I just had this happen to me with my ex except I broke it off with him because he lied to me about something HUGE. I would still sit around waiting for him to call, IM or message me but he didn't for a few months and we'd talk for a few minutes and then I wouldn't hear for him for awhile and he'd message me again or whatever it kept going like this and finally I just got over him, kinda. You just need some time to get over it. It might take a while but you'll get to the point wher you won't even think about her.

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  • it is completly normal to feel that way. You have to go through the five stages. And then time will make you feel better I promise. It's happend to me b4 and I got over it. And now I'm going through it again. I have it bad I would take my ex back in a second if he want to. Even know he has disrespected and hurt me more than anyone. But we will get over it one day at a time.

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    • What are the five stages?

  • No!

    Why would you want to play this game with yourself? If your really over her then move on.

    Maybe your just feeling dissed because she's moved on and you haven't. It's ok to feel slighted here...

    I don't know...that my guess.

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