Is my boyfriend going through that "I am temporarily pulling away" stage or he is trying to break up with me?

I have been dating a guy for 3 months. He had been shipped out to a diff city for his job two hours away. He is a construction worker and the company he works for has a big project assigned to them for the next 8months. He will be working 12 days on, 2 days off.

He had originally said we would work it out and keep a long distance relationship despite of the little time we would see one another. I was very sad but love him very much so was willing to support his job, his goal of getting rid of his debt in order to buy a house.

He was contacting me almost everyday saying he missed and loved me, 3 months doesn't sound very long but we did see each other quite a bit when we weren't working...spending all our time the relationship seemed more intense and longer. We also had plans of moving in together after he is done that project in a diff city.

However...things did a 180. He saw me last Friday when he dropped in town. He had to leave right away the next morning unfortunately due to having to start work in the morning right away.

I had a strange feeling something was up because he did not contact me all weekend as usual. So I called him on Monday and he said he was just burnt out from all the driving and work... as not only did he work Sat when he went back but also on Sunday. That was understandable but then he did not call me all week which was unusual.

So I finally call him on Friday and he said he wasn't sure what he wanted nor if he wanted to be in a relationship right now as he feels as though he doesn't have the time nor energy due to how many hours/days he works. I thought his busy schedule was understandable but I had a feeling he was using work as an excuse to push me away. I had a bad feeling that after he saw me last Friday...for some reason or another...his feelings weren't the same:(

I confronted him and told him if he lost interest in me, to tell it to my face. He said I had nothing to do with it at was his job. But I was even more dissapointed when I offered to get a summer job in the city where he works on after I am done this school semester in make it easier for us to see one another and all he could say was " Well you're not done school until April so I have lots of time to think about it..." I couldn't believe my ears but at the same time, I could feel my heart breaking.

He said he needs time to think.

Is this guy scared because we went into the relationship way too fast and planning the future together and is temporarily pulling away? Will he eventually come around?

Or is he too afraid to tell me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore? He knows the last two men cheated on me and I have been hurt.

I have listened to my friends advice to not call him and wait for him to call me first...but its so hard for me not to think of him! I had also asked him if he was still planning to see me this weekend and he said yes...but I have a bad feeling he won't...


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  • Oh my! I have been through this... Girl! Quite frankly, he's definitely too afraid to tell you he's not interested. If he wanted to he'd call. Listen to your friends and do NOT call him. If he's interested he'll call. Do not call him and put yourself through anymore pain of hearing his indifference & excuses.

    Truth is he is probably busy as sh*t a mans pride is = to his income/career etc. I know it sounds lame... but I have had to resort to only dating financially secure dudes that are happy in their jobs.

    It's rather primal. I was madly in love with a guy who promised the moon and stars once he graduated! After he'd realized he wasn't going to be able to deliver what he said, he'd barely be able to take care of himself he stopped calling me, we'd been together a year already! ... When he did finally call FIVE MONTHS LATER (after getting slightly on his feet) He said he found someone who was okay with him being broke. Which is ultimately fine, because the guy for me is not BROKE!

    Have some dignity and only call him to tell him you are letting him GO!


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