Second thoughts about breaking up?

Well , my girlfriend broke up with me , due to a lot of reasons , the most serious of which are that she thinks that I'm attracted to another girl and due to the fact that we live like an hour apart and it is hard to see each other . However , now that she found out that I'm not attracted to that girl , she wants to get back together(and uses all the methods of persuasion such as crying etc.) .

What is more , I started really liking that other girl because we are really alike(non-smokers , non-drinkers , musicians , speaking 3 languages ) and I don't think that I want to get back together with my girlfriend .

The problem is that I don't want to hurt my girlfriend , even though she broke up with me . how is that possible?(FWI both of the girls are members in my band)

thank you for your answers:) (both of you) the whole matter has found a solution. thus I will not be in need of any more advice:)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't get back with your ex due to guilt. Guilt can be good and bad. If you did something wrong, then you should feel guilty and offer a genuine apology. If you didn't do anything wrong, then don't feel guilty. Move on with your life. If you like this other gal, and you have more in common, then try it out. Your ex will have to deal with your decision, and if she decides to leave the band, then there's always recruiting through the classified ads. Sounds harsh, but true. Don't string her along because you feel guilt. You have to be happy too. She's upset and crying because she is confused about what really happened and she still loves you. Tears aren't typically produced on-call when you want to guilt someone.

    You are feeling the guilt because you want to move on with someone else.

    • Thank you very much:) this is probably what I'll do . but it will have to wait for three more months since there is this exam that will determine what university she'll get in and I don't want her to sit this exam in such a condition.:)thank you again

    • In reference to waiting until the exam is over . . . That is going to be torture for both of you . . . Remember, there's never a good time to break up . . . There's always going to be a birthday, holiday, or exam around the corner.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Um, I think you're going to need to find a new band or be prepared to lose a member if you want to pursue something with this new girl.

    Ultimately, do what you want and think will make you happy. If you don't want to get back together with your ex then don't. But don't expect any sort of rosy situation with her if you move on to this new girl.

    • Really theank you for the answer . that's what I wanted to do . However changing a member is not an option . We have made a deal that everything personal remains out of the band.

      Thank you again

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