So my ex broke up with me about a year ago because he didn't want to have a relationship while trying to establish his career at the same time. I was absolutely heartbroken and so hurt because he was my first love and all of this just came out of nowhere.
I know he did and still does care about me but I can't help but act so defensive and bitchy around him, even after all this time. We both have mutual friends and some lectures at college together so there's no way I can avoid him (even though I want to).
I do feel bad about my behaviour towards him because even though he did hurt me badly, I don't want him to feel guilty about what he did for the rest of his life. It's not like he cheated or anything. But I can't help it, it's like my bitchyness is a natural defensive mechanism against him or something. Or maybe just unresolved feelings for him, I don't know.
Is this defensiveness towards him justified? And is there a way I can stop being like this towards him? I feel terrible about it :(
Most Helpful Girl
He hurt you. It's natural that you will feel resentment and anger towards him especially if he was your first love. Also I know a year feels like a long time but in terms of healing it's not long at all and just indicates that you still haven't healed completely from it all which is fine because for many people they only heal fully once they fall in love with someone else again. I know I'm like that. The feelings always linger till I find someone new.1