After truly loving someone so deeply & to have that SO cheat on you for months behind your back. I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore?

Long story short
My ex girlfriend & dated for 8 months. I was truly in love. I did everything for her. She got a new job. She made moves on her boss. She started being an asshole to me. I suspected something was up. Asked her. She denied everything that she doesn't like him blah blah... i found texts/emails/facebook messages from him. Sexual innuendos & goofy flirty shit. I got pissed off. Talked to her she called me insecure & that I'm being ridiculous. Things got much worse. She didn't have time for me. Always busy. Stays late hours at work. Tells me her boss is a great guy, handsome etc... AND I HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. That I'm being ridiculous! After that... i saw many signs of cheating but i didn't want to accuse her if i had no proof. She would ALWAYS tell me JUST STOP, YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME! OKAY? YOU'RE SOO ANNOYING blah blah. Treated me like shit. Made me feel horrible and super insecure with her boss. Then one day i gave up... we had a verbal fight. I walked out. I told her we arw done I'm sick of the games and bullshit. Met up a week later to talk. She told me she's 21 & doesn't want any sort of relationship with anyone right now. (I'm 25). 3 days after the meet up, her Facebook says she is IN A RELATIONSHIP with her FU*KING BOSS!!! THE SAME GUY SHE TOLD ME I HAD NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!!!

It's been a couple months now. I'm still in love with that slut but i know i can't ever trust her anymore. I've been okay I guess i bought a new motorcycle and some cool stuff to keep my mind straight. Been on a couple of dates. Had sex with 2 different girls but nothing came of it... i just wasn't feeling it. Sex isn't the same. Mentally i feel like i can't trust the next girl because of all my ex's damn convincing LIES! HOW DO HELP MYSELF?

PS: I'm not hurting anymore but i need to figure out why the FLIP DO I STILL LOVE HER even though i wish i didn't. I can't trust her words.

She told me in the past she has cheated a couple times which was a RED FLAG from the beginning but she told she wasn't like that anymore and she's mature now blah blah blah... I HAVE NEVER FU*KING CHEATED ever! Never will. I don't have it in me to do that to someone. I just can't.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some people are shit like your ex. You have to believe that not everyone is like that. And there are girls out there who will love you like you deserve, but, it takes time to find that.

    Block your ex so you don't have to see her anymore, otherwise, you'll never move on.

    • It's really hard to trust now i feel like I'm about to get played again or something I don't know what's wrong with me. But thank you for your kind words 😏

    • No, that's normal to feel that way. Nothing's wrong with you. Trust has to be earned. The same way a girl is gonna take some time to trust you, you're gonna take some time to treat the girl. There's nothing wrong with that. Just be choosy with whom you decide to trust. Don't just give that to anybody.

    • Thanks

Most Helpful Guy

  • i understand why you feel like you can't trust people. i've been there. i had two consecutive relationships where i was cheated on and after them i didn't date for 2 years.

    there are two things to keep in mind
    1. not all women are the same. so you have to be open to the fact that while you dated a lying deceitful woman not all are like that
    2. the experience can help open your eyes to the world. to be a better observer human behavior. i know it helped me recognize things in people that are red flags so i wouldn't get hurt

    take time and get over the relationship. it probably means not dating. and eventually come back to dating giving people a clean slate but have an eye open to stuff that may lead to betrayals like you experienced with your ex

    • Thank you man for your words of wisdom. I think you are right maybe i should just not date for a while. I'm not in a rush anyways but i do miss the passion/best friend/lover crap lol. My dog and my motorcycle have been helping me move on. I will try my best to do as you say. Thank you

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • Basically your putting your heart in a locked box in the closet because of one person. I would advise u not to, not every female is like ur ex. Please believe that, I used to have the exact same issues in my past. By thinking that way towards other men led me to lose a lot of amazing people just by either not giving them a chance or not trusting them because of my ex. Biggest mistake I ever did make. Yet I learned and u will to, I hope u take my advice. That sucks this happened to you. Good luck lad

    • Shitty thing is SHE knew i had trust issues from the very beginning. She asked me about my my first love and i told her. I told her that she left me for her "best friend" and i was messed up for a year straight. No dating no feelings nothing just empty. AND my most current ex (cheater) said she understood and would never do that but... guess what? SHE DID that's why I'm all fu*ked up mentally with trusting now. She used to tell me I'm not your Ex so yiu just have to TRUST ME. And i did but i found texts of hers telling her boss. What an idiot i am for trusting her and that i have no idea about it. :'( broke my heart like a bitch by the way lol. Effing hate her but stupidly love still and i wish i knew why? Whats my damn problem... i knew it all along. I was being played and she was taking advantage because she knew i had a messed up past with my first love.
      Ps: I've only ever been IN LOVE twice (first love & the cheater) but I've been with 7 girls sexually and lots of random dates :/

    • Message me dude

    • Pm sent 😌

  • "I'm still in love with that slut."

    Calling her a slut? That's true love alright...

    • Best way to describe how i feel. Im mad at her for her cheating but stupidly still love her.

What Guys Said 2

  • Live and learn. It might get better, I don't know yet personally but I feel myself changing... for the better in some ways and for the worst in other ways.

    I'm sorry for you, hang in there.

    The good girls are not easy to find or easy to get - and as we get older the more rarer the available ones become. Your relationship status does not define you, your self worth is not attached to a vagina, I know intimate relationships and validation from a female that way feels great but it is by no means a situation that defines your character or a one the five necessities in life, there are different types of love.

    • Thank you man. . made me laugh about vag part but like you said the older i get the harder it is to find single ones... especially faithful sexy ones. Most the hotties are already taken :(

      I guess im going solo till i find a cute single one that hopefully isn't going to eff me over again I don't know... im just kinda scared tbh

    • Me too, the way I look at it is, is that its hilarious bitter sweet irony that leaves me delirious like the fucking Joker "why so serious? if you can't laugh at life what's the point of living it"
      I have two kids that I am thankful for and love, but I can't raise or even see but I support.
      I have a huge sexual appetite that I don't use because I can't find a descent available attractive woman that wants to get with me, and I'm a romantic type... go figure.. why god?

      Anyway, as long as I crawl through my thirties my libido will eventually die and I'll be so god damned happy because the rest of life will be a cake walk, and when a gold digger tries to get with me who's in her twenties I'll be like,
      "you know I'd get with you if when I was in my twenties a woman as attractive as you wanted to get with me then, hit the road."

      Hang in there, don't be self destructive just because of this shit. You are alive.

  • Because you were so connected to her, break up means you have to disconnect the threads that connected the two of you together. One thing could be helpful here "FORGIVENESS and the willingness to move on"

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