How do I get over my ex?

How do I get over my ex? I keep dreaming about him and I hate it. It makes sleeping and waking up the most traumatic parts of my day. It's been a little over a year. He has moved on and has a baby. And something in me still loves him. Most of my days are filled with regret and feeling like I messed up so bad. I lost myself. I lost my ambition and I really didn't know what I wanted to do career wise anymore. I was controlling at times and I hate myself for it. He said I didn't appreciate him and I could have done little things like give him a massage. But I thought me helping him when he had nowhere to live was showing him appreciation. I helped him with keeping up his car and I was always there for him, but he took it as holding money over him. Then when he had to take over the bills when I couldn't work as much because of my health. I could never do enough of anything for him. Anyway, a month after we broke up he got a girl pregnant and they've been together since. I don't know how to forget about him. I don't know how to stop loving him even after knowing he basically has a family now. We were engaged and talked about having kids when it ended. When it ended I thought it was going to be to get a foundation, go to school, and improve our lives. But he was after girls. How do I stop thinking about this and possible start dating and be happy with my life?


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What Guys Said 1

  • You work this over and over in your head until it wears a rut in there, invading your sleep. Reworking every detail, reimagining all that could have gone differently achieves nothing. Certainly you made mistakes, but so did he. From what you say, it doesn't seem like it would have worked out with him in the end. You seem to have incompatible expectations and desires. What you perceived as trying to help him, he saw as a burden. He hooked up with the other girl much too fast to have been truly as committed to you as you were to him.

    You need to let go of everything that you did or he did. Certainly you can learn from that but what good would the knowledge do if you are emotionally paralyzed? The problems and outcome are not due to certain specific acts and behaviors. There is nothing with holding on their. You belong in a relationship with someone who recognizes your gifts without putting you down and who does not punish you for your weaknesses. He just wasn't that someone and he never could be.


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