Was she using me as a rebound?

so i had been seeing this girl for a couple of months i had known her since school. i felt strongly for her and she said she felt the same, we had been spending weekends together going on dates, meeting each others parents sleeping together etc.. its was going ok although she kept mentioning her ex which niggled at the back of my mind (she had had a bad break up some time ago). i thought it was time to make things official so i asked her if it was time, when i asked her she got panicky she said that we were having fun and why should we complicate things and that we were just friends which i didn't understand as everything seemed to be going ok, after that she was cold and distant, she refused to see me and would only talk to me every few weeks when it seemed like she had had a bad day. i had tried to explain to her how i felt about what had happened and what she was doing to which the reply i got was "ok lol don't talk to me if that's what you want" after that i said id had enough and was not going to stick around to be her friend and be used and that i was not comfortable with a casual on and off relationship. she said that after her exs she couldn't feel the way i felt about her. i cut contact after that but she messages me a couple of times since saying she wants to be friends but i feel to hurt to do it. was i used?

on top of all that when she said she no longer wanted to see me she started posting on facebook about how she had no one to spend Saturday night with and that she would have to date herself?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Erm one big warning sign. You should listen to your gut instinct. I think she's still hung up on her ex if she's mentioning him at all.
    I don't think you were used, i just think she didn't know what she wanted. Maybe she wanted to try and move on from him, but didn't realise she still had feelings for him until you suggested being in a relationship. Or maybe she simply wasn't looking for anything serious.
    It was wrong of her to not be upfront about everything.

    • Thank you this was very helpful. I found it confusing that she said she had strong feelings for me then appeared to have no regard for mine, but this makes sense.

    • You're welcome :) I'm glad i could help.

What Guys Said 2

  • Err this girl sounds super insecure, and to be honest a little off. She's kicking off drama for the same of drama, is what I am reading here.

    • It was all very confusing, thank you for your opinion.

  • That's always a plausibility man