I broke up with my boyfriend, still staying while I look for an apartment, what can I do to cope?

I broke it off with my boyfriend, I couldn't handle it anymore and I regret now not having had an apartment lined up, it was stupid I know.

I'm having such difficulty though finding an apartment, since I work as a cashier but I have a large inheritance and come from a different country, I seem like a "suspicious" applicant who they never want to take on, even when I put prooving documents on my application...

I try to make things so easy, my ex can sleep in the bed, I sleep on the futton, I still do the housework and pay rent and bills... he took 3 days off work because he was so emotional, and seeing him like that makes me feel so guilty too, but I know we are just not compatible even though he his a very nice guy...

I'm stressing so much because I feel so guilty...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Could you ask friends to take you in on a temporary basis?

    Try your best to minimize contact with him. It isn't your fault but his behavior seems to make you feel guilty, which isn't good for either of you.


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What Guys Said 5

  • shitty situation.

    shitty shitty. good luck.

  • Well you could ask him to perhaps help out and pitch in? Not that he has to, just that it would be better for you both if you could get out of there sooner. And tell him you could pay back later.

    But why are you the only one paying rent? And in that case, why do you have to move out if you're paying rent? Is it his apartment? He should be the one paying rent then.

    • oh no I meant as in we both paid our share of the rent and I'm still paying my share, as of course is fair and right.

      He said he's happy to help, but then gets emotional and start blaming himself for things...

    • Oh ok then, but either way, yes he should help out (if you promise to bay back later). And him getting emotional now might be expected but it should pass over time. Just don't blame yourself for his emotional state - that is his and his problem alone.

    • it's not like I need help with money, it's just finding an apartment that's the trouble I'm having now.

      You see, I only have my passport and receive an allowance which helps me from my late father, so it always looks suspicious that I would apply for a 2 bedroom apartment on my own. It's just that 2 bedroom apartments are so readily available all the time, and the 1 bedroom apartments never come with a balcony :(

  • When he's present, minimize the time you spend in the apartment.

    Consider, also, rentals from private owners and individuals who are subleasing their places.

  • Why are you two not compatible?

  • Honestly I can't believe he's letting you stay.


What Girls Said 2

  • Don't feel guilty. You don't owe it to anyone to date them. Just try to have your separate space. It's good you two aren't sleeping in the same bed, it would be awkward if you did.
    Living with an ex is tough, I did that for a year and it was one of hte hardest years of my life.

    The best thing to do is create boundaries. If you are going out with friends, you don't need to feel obligated to invite him out, or even tell him where you are going and with who.

    Try to stay at friends houses from time to time to get a break from him.

    Make some solid ground rules (ie. not arguing while friends are over, not asking about new partners, etc...).

    Try to stay positive knowing that eventually you will be out of there!

  • I would have moved out the best I could. Or back to my parents. Yeah break up is hard.

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