Why do I feel like I lost out?

It has been a couple months post break and the I was the "dumper". I loved my ex a lot, but I was so sick of being a last priority (I tried to talk to him about it and nothing changed). If my any of my friends were dating this kind of guy, I would think they were crazy. I did everything for this guy, always taking care of him, feeding him etc. He did very little for me, very lazy, unambitious, no interests, mentioned other hot girls to me very often and couldn't even wash dishes properly. Everyone has always said what a nice girl I am and everything, but I feel like I was the only one who lost out. I guess because he was my 1st boyfriend, but he had dated previously (his previous ex left him for another guy), I don't feel worthy and sometimes although he would not be a desirable guy for a lot of girls.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Why put yourself down for doing the right thing? Don't baby your partner and always choose someone who is independent. Someone who won't become a parasite to you.
    There are better men out there, and you will find the man who will see and respect you for what you are. Don't put yourself down as unworthy or useless. Spoil yourself a bit, you deserve to be.


What Girls Said 1

  • I went through a bad break up like this. He treated me in the exact same way and was emotionally unavailable, had double standards (me not having male friends, but all his friends were female). I was also the one who dumpled him, and it was my first long term relationship, and my first love. You're the one who's allowing him to make you feel this way. You need to do what's best for you. Can you honestly see yourself marrying this guy, and having a family with him? Do you want your children to have his traits? He won't change because you want him to. He has to change because he wants to, and i honestly don't think that's likely.
    I completely agree with Chief16 here. You need to spoil yourself and make yourself happy, get out of the house and spend time with your friends, get your confidence back up. There are billions of people, you're bound to find a better guy when you least expect it.

    • I could not see myself wanting a family w/him because I know I would stuck w/everything, while he would go out w/out me. He did have double standards, the one time I went w/out to hang out w/a guy friend that I met w/a group he flipped out and accused me of trying to leave him. He would go to the bar once a week and meet up w/guys and girls. If I married him I would prob be a bird in cage while he had the time of his life. I am spending time w/friends and I'm doing things for me. I still get that hurt feeling though.

    • Then you already have your answer. You've lost nothing and regained control. You won't be trapped or tied down. Everytime you miss him, remember all the negative things that happened. Remember that he's not what you want from life. Eventually you'll stop thinking about him.

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