Does "No Contact" make sense if HE calls Me? I have answered my own question, tell me if you agree I need advice

I have wondered if having No Contact really works in all cases. I feel you should not contact him for at least a month maybe longer. However, What if he calls me? Should I answer or continue no contact? This is the way I feel I should handle things if my ex calls me. Do you agree?

If you don’t take his call, then you are really saying to him you are not ready and that you’re still hurting over him, or basically he knows you might still have feeling for him and he could have you back if he wanted you. So if people never want what they can have, he won’t feel like chasing after you.

However, if he calls and you answer, and you act happy and full of energy, like life is great, then a few things will happen. He will think you’re over him already and it doesn’t matter either way if he calls you. This will confuse him, because he thought you were still yearning over him. Also, your being happy will make him miss the happy person he once know, and he’ll want to be around you again. He will wonder if you’re happy because you have found someone else. If you act hurt and like your still upset with him for breaking up with you, he will only feel like he made a mistake by calling you in the first place and he will not want to contact you again.

So, if he calls…answer his call, surprise him by being happy. Talk only small talk, don’t bring up the relationship, don’t ask him if he’s seeing anyone (this will show you still care), Don’t tell him every detail about your life (leave some mystery) and don’t tell him if your dating, he’ll think your trying to make him jealous, which shows you still care. If he asks you if you’re dating then tell him yes (even if you’re not) but then say nicely you would rather not talk about it. Keep the conversation short, and be the first to say good bye. Then don’t call him back, let him wonder about you and let him call you back again if he wants…let him chase you. Don’t let him think he can easily have you back (make him work), but don’t play too hard to get either. Just be pleasant (even if you have to act!)


Most Helpful Guy

  • "No Contact" means, um, "No Contact". By continuing you are lengthening the recovery process and putting yourself out of circulation that much longer.

    The hurt won't have a chance to heal if you don't "No Contact".

    Please send me a 'friend' request. I don't send women friend requests because of the possibility of misinterpretation, boundary violations, etc. But I would like to continue this discussion.


    • Ted, Thanks for that, and I know must people use NO Contact to heal and move on. However, some use it in order to win back their ex. Books have been written about it, Like Homer McDonald's "Stop MY Divorce Now". So I want to see if giving him time and space might make him see he does miss me and that he still loves me.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • If only everyone's story were like that. What if he never contacts you ever? Then you can't really act happy towards him. You can't do anything because he hasn't called you... at all. You feel like a loser while people tell you that him rejecting you is not a rejection of you, you're still an amazing person, bla bla bla.


    • I know what you mean, but I think if HE DOESN'T contact me after about a month, then I should break the No Contact and try contacting him, but only after I am in control of my feeling and won?t seem needy. Still being upbeat and not talking about the relationship unless he brings it up. I think "NO Contact Ever", will only cause us to drift completely apart. But even then I would need to take it slow and not seem needy. My question was only if HE CONTACTS me, but thanks for your thoughts.

  • trust me if there's "no contact" it won't 100&ly work I haven't seen my ex in 8 or more months and I'm still not over him so just do what you feel you should do.


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