I would love to get back together with her, but I don't want to pressure her.

ok,been talking with my old girlfriend,she keeps bringing up how she misses our past time together and sounds kinda like she may want to get back together. now we both met back in high school and dated for quite awhile.we broke up but neither can remember who dumped who,go figure.now this has been about 20-25 years ago. so now here's my question,what should I do about this? I would love to get back together with her, but I don't want to pressure her.we have both matured over the years and are both single [divorced] now.i don't want to say the wrong things and ruin my chances,but my emotions start to flow when we talk of the past and so does hers. thanks in advance


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm. Try to find out what's her true intention of your relationship. I really don't want to bring salt here but girls also could be nasty. I'm just suspecting she unintentionally doing so. It's my complete guess. She just had bad romance and try to rebound you. After she's over the hard feelings she might also get over the feelings she had towards you. I had a friend who did similar thing. She used a guy to get over his ex-husband. I told her many times that's not good but she went on. After she was over her ex, of course she left that poor guy. It's so sad that people do such immature things. But they do.

    If she's not in that condition, talk to her that how to get over the past smoothly. Just bring up this on the table. Then give her some space to think over it. You need also some time to think about it. Sometimes women don't know what they truly want. Even the guys. Give her some time to think. It's hard, I know. Because I'm also in break up situation. People differ. When my ex asked me out once more after several years, ye I went on because he was my first love. I kind of thought "who knows?" We kind of started to meet. But I realized that past is past. It was hard to bring back how I was fallen in love crazily with that guy. Then I stopped seeing him. She might be just misses all those good old days. Giving her some time will clear things. I mean talk first. Tell her that you don't want to dwell on only past. Then tell her that you guys need some time to think about those. Say that you'll call her about few weeks after. Also ask her to call you when she has clear idea of what she truly wants. Tell her specifically that your intention is not go into game of testing tolerance but just giving some time to each other to think.

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What Girls Said 4

  • no need to be shy, you're 20+ years older now

    tell her that thinking about the past has brought something out of you and you want to try again and if it doesn't work out you want to stay friends

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  • i think you guys should hangout and reconnect more on what's going on today, it's good to remember all the good times in the past but really get to know each other as you guys are now. who knows what will happen but it will give you both a chance to see if you both still have feelings for one another. I hope this helps.

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    • Thanks to both of you for the reply,we have been very open as far as what we had. she really hasn't come out just yet about getting back together,but all the signs are there,i try and sneak some hints in now and again about wanting to try it again with us,but like I said I do not want to pressure her and lose my chance. it's funny how after 20+ years we are talking again,last night I was up till 4 am just trying to think what to do and say . this whole thing really through me for a loop .

    • Well we talked again last night ,basically the same things about the past. it's ok,but why does she keep dwelling on it? I agree that we need to start talking about the here and now,but I'm to blame also for bringing up the past to.i'm starting to feel as if maybe this is as far it will go.i'm really confused of her intentions,anyone have some advice/

  • OK IM A GIRL. OK BYE WHAT UR SAYING IT SEEMS LIKE SHE REALY INTO U. AND IT DOES SOUND LIKE SHE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER. THIS IS WHAT You DO, ASK HER TO GO ON A CATCH UP DATE WITH U, NOT A DATE DATE, JUST A DATE TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER AGAIN. SO You TAKE HER TO DINNER SOME WERE NICE BUT NOT SUPER FANCY. AND THEN ASK HER IF SHE WANTS TO GO WATCH A MOVIE. AND LET IT TAKE ITS COURCE. IT WILL GIVE HER TIME TO THINK ABOUT. -JENNA ROBERTS-

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  • well you should tell her to hang out

    catch up on things

    see if you really think its worth it

    then if it is invite her to places

    by a couple of times of spending time

    she should know what she wants

    Goodluck <3

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What Guys Said 3

  • it was the turtle who won the race with the rabbit, correct?

    take things nice and slow and steady...be consistant with your actions

    dont jump into things, try not to bring up the past - but hey you both got married and became divorsed and boom she's back in your life - seems a little bit like fate if you ask me...

    anyways, start catching up, don't bring up the past when you guys dated that much, it may bring tensions back...really feel her out, listen to her, see what she's been up to...see if you can reconnect

    just don't be creepy or seem desperate about it, no matter what your age is no girl likes an easy guy and no guy likes an easy girl

    just be yourself, its all a girl ever asks for, be funny, make her laugh, do somethign interactive when you guys hang out, don't just sit around and talk and look at each other, do something FUN and EXCITING...GO KARTS! do something that's going to make you guys feel like you're in your 20's again(no I'm not trying to rub it in lol) but look growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional...

    girls want to laugh, feel safe, have fun, feel comfortable around their man

    they always, I mean always go for FEELINGS, its how she FEELS around you...

    ex: you're on a date, everything goes well, it ends, you come back and tell your buddy about it...

    you to your friends: "man she was gorgeous, that dress she was wearing was so sexy, she looked great, I think it went well"

    her to her friends: "you know he was a really nice guy, complimented me a lot and was very mature, I FEEL really good about the date, he made me FEEL good about myself"

    we both can admit as guys that that's how our talk would be, brief, short, simple...hers to her friend explained how she felt around you...they connect on a different level than us, they want to FEEL the right feeling, understand?

    basically I'm just trynig to say, be yourself, show youve matured and have goals in your life, find a common interest again and do something funnnnnnn, EVERY girl wants to be with her best friend and someone they can do anything in front of and most importantly FEEL good around and ALWAYS be able to laugh and smile with you...make her feel special and good about herself and you'll start on the right path

    hope I didn't ramble too much, just trying to give my opinion...hope this helps..

    GL, lemme know if youd need any additional support!

    BE FUN AND OUTGOING! go to a club, dance, something FUNNNN! :)

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  • 1. always be yourself

    2. be confident. if you know things will go well they WILL GO WELL. its called The Law of Attraction ;)

    3. don't rush it. as a rasta would say "rrrrelax mon!"

    good luck brother!

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  • This question is more kinda how do I put it..

    To little information, Ask her to a place she told you about 20 years ago..

    Ask a little about her..

    How did you guys break up?

    I think if you really get on her case then you are pressuring her.. If you ask to much, Time will tell .. Could be in 2 weeks if all goes well don't force it let it fall into your lap..

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    • Just be honest, I finally after 20+ years told my first love how I feel and we kissed and we talk all the time, but we are both married so we are in a quagmire. Our feelings are real but so our are marriages and families which neither of us want to hurt. The feelings are overwhelming and it's just like where you left off when you broke up the first time. If she feels your pressuring her then give her space and time and if she can't live without you then you'll know, but be honest.

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