Was in relationship for 6 months, broke up and kept talking for like almost a year. Lots of fights because I want a relationship and she doesn't?

We dated for 6 months and then we still acted like a couple for several months after that. She broke up with me because she couldn't handle that the fact I had a topless picture of a model. It was disrespectful to her and I got it, I apologized so many times and tried to atone my mistakes. I think I did atone myself and she just wouldn't move on from this. I kept pleading and tried to be as patient as possible. I offered everything for her to be succeed but in the end she moved to another state.

I was completely crushed and devastated but we kept talking and I tried to help her still (stupid me I know). Fast forward 3 months after she left, she came back and visit her family. We met and things were fine the first day and it went bad quickly the second day. Her last day was supposed to be hanging out with me and have dinner, but we fought instead. Then I told her to forget all the fights and just come over and we can go eat. She did and the rest of the night went absolutely fine.

2 weeks after she went back she said she likes someone else, she had been hanging out with this guy 2 times. She asked me whether is it okay? I said it is fine. Then we kind of say unofficially say goodbye and all of those sweet talk of everything that happened between us. Surprisingly she went and texted me every night for several days and she said she wanted to come visit me. She came back to visit and stay with me in January and 95% of our time spent together was fine and no fights at all. Now that she went back again, she started fighting again with me, the thing is about us, we always fight whenever we are not together and are fine whenever we are in person. I just found out that she is jealous of me for being more successful in certain aspects of life. This really hurts me because the way I perceive this is that she can't be supportive or happy for me. Things always went hot and cold between us, one day we love each other and the next day we hate each other.

I can't tell how many times she said to just be done with this and have us not talking anymore. It is extremely difficult for me because she was my first serious relationship. I am so attached to her. I understand it comes off to her as I am needy and desperate. It turns her off. Lately she said she doesn't want to have sex or kiss anymore when she came visit, we ended up doing it anyway even though it wasn't anything like before.
During our fights when she was still staying in the same state as me, we often cursed at each other and fight with passion. It seems like we are completely different people.

She did one major thing that really destroyed me. She went to her friend's house and slept with him even though she said she would never do that. She said it on the phone just that night when she talked to me.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you need to get some distance between you both. I think she's just using you because you're there. Don't contact her for a month and don't respond to any of her attempts at contact. It'll give you some time to work through if you really want to keep putting yourself through this. It might also give her time to miss you and realise that what she really wants is you. I'd advise you to do things that make you happy without her. Learn something new. Pick up a new hobby.
    Maybe she's acting in this way because you're allowing her to. Maybe what she wants is you to be firm with your standards. Make it clear you won't tolerate this from her. But us girls can get funny over you having pictures of other women. An ex of mine talked to women and constantly searched for them on fb, he even lied to my face about going to meet one of them. I never trusted him since, and our relationship was just filled with fights because we never really dealt with the issues that we had.
    Take the time away from her to figure out what you really want.

    • Thank you so much for the reply,
      Some of my friends also said that she is just using me AND I am allowing her to be like that.
      I understand the picture destroys her trust, she also found out that my facebook timeline is filled with women in bikinis (thanks to one of my friend who keeps liking these pictures and it shows on my timeline) and stupid spam of half naked women from hacked page accounts. I For the love of God, I don't open these links or pictures as I have no interest in them and I barely on facebook more than 5 minutes. I tried explaining that to her but she just won't accept it. She said that means I don't mind looking at those pictures.
      I am going to be honest, I HAVE NEVER EVER have any intentions of cheating on her. I love this woman so much that it kills me. I gave her everything, and I think it backfired. She always said that she feels ugly and accuse me of thinking her ugly too.

      I actually already initiated NC for 5 days now, she hasn't contacted me yet.

    • Show All
    • No problem. I'm happy to help if i can.
      Usually our friends can see the things we can't because they aren't clouded by our emotions. I think doing NC is one of the best things you can do. You sound more mature than she is. Keep at the NC, but work on yourself in that time. Keep telling yourself that you're not bothered, that you don't care. Go for a run or do something to distract yourself whenver you think of her. They usually contact you at the strangest times, so just ignore it unless you says she wants to try again with you etc. I honestly think she's just lost interest, you simply need to capture her interest again. The only way i think you can is by being genuinely happy without her and learning new things, let her have time to miss you. And honestly don't worry about the new guy. If she's been in touch with you it's probably not that serious.

    • I asked about the new guy when she came visit, she said they just stopped talking. No wonder she was still talking to me until several days ago. I kept telling myself and her at several points that she won't find another guy like me, who would put up and be patient with all of her bullshit. I know I probably shouldn't have said that. I didn't say that just to scare her or satisfy myself. A part of me genuinely believes that she won't because I couldn't describe how much I gave her. A part of me believes that no man or maybe only 1 in a 100 would do the things I did for her. I just think that most men would run away long time ago. Maybe I am selfish for thinking this way.

What Guys Said 1

Loading... ;