I have a boyfriend but I didn't tell my "ex" about him, should I?

SHORT STORY version:
i have a boyfriend but didn't tell my "ex" about him. My current boyfriend also doesn't know bout, ex (why should he?). Boyfriend and I get really serious, talking marriage and future. And ex still hasn't an idea. Even though I haven't responded in months, he's writing me again from two Saturdays ago, and said I don't need to respond and that he'll write again following week, he did. He also said, again, that he'll write again next Saturday too. Wtf omg. do i need to actually tell him? Should I? He's assuming I'm not in a relationship or is he in denial? Ignore him or how should I tell him?

I hate he's doing this around Valentine's day too like he has something up his sleeve to try to impress me or something. I want to not respond cause I'm just thinking of my boyfriend who I love... honestly wanna delay this to whenever so I can enjoy my weekend with boyfriend without these dumb considerations when I check my inbox in the days preceding to this weekend. I have zero feelings for ex. At the same time kinda feel bad that maybe I was supposed to tell him, but this feeling is overridden by the thought that I'm not obligated to tell him anything.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Probably tell him. I think it's more likely that he's wanting to get back together than just wanting to stay friends and keep in touch. You're not really under any obligation, but it'd be the kind thing to do.

    • thanks for answering :)

      Well, He's in another continent studying, we were only online dating for a year but he thought it'd be selfish if he kept a long distance relationship with me until he's back home (here). He wanted to keep talking even when I'm dating unless I get more feelings for another guy (his words) in which case he'd let me be, but didn't want us labeled friends bc "we're more than friends", and used to talk to me in terms of "maybe in five years if you're not married to someone else by the time I'm back, we'd get a chance at really dating even though you're too beautiful and smart to not be married by then." Seriously. So One day after "being in contact for a year" with ex, I started dating others to get over my feelings for ex, and we talked less and less until I blocked and deleted him and started having some feelings for this great new guy I was dating (current bf). boyfriend and I briefly ended it, and in that time without boyfriend, the ex emails me begging me

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    • "He wanted to keep talking even when I'm dating unless I get more feelings for another guy" Yeah, I think that applies now. And after the additional info, sounds even more like telling him is the way to go. It really sounds like he's hoping to pick things up when he's back. It'll be easier on him to know now than to get home and you've got a ring on your finger.

    • Ok thank you :) really appreciate your feedback.
      Luckily, I don't think he'll be back in town any time soon.
      But I'm waiting a week or two before responding (just to not have to possibly "deal" with any of it at this time).

  • I've been that guy or well kid. I was 15 dated a pretty girl that was 17. It was cool for me but she wasn't having it after a month lol anyways she never really broke up with me. Leaving things open ended and confused. I still pursued her. Mean while she's deep in love (or whatever we think love is at that age.) With another guy. Basically no matter what it's gonna hurt being that guy. But then I also had to deal with feeling like such a foolish fool. let him down easy

    • Thank you I really appreciate your opinion and that perspective. :)

      I think this guy is about different... And dating and full blown relationship isn't the same, but it is (or feels like it) at 15.

      You can read my comments to another opinion here for the background on this guy with me. Might change your opinion.

    • The comments are on @tupperware 's opinion

  • You don't have to tell your ex a damn thing besides please leave me alone. Spend your energy on the great guy you have now.

    • Hey, thanks a lot, I appreciate that lol you're right. sometimes that's what I want to say but I've always been kind and courteous with him, but I don't need to put that energy on this guy in any way anymore. I have a great guy now :). You can read more info on my comments to the opinion of @ tupperware as I have more info on it. I know I've maybe should've never responded to him.

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