Is it possible to still wonder why a relationship ended even if you're over that person?

My ex left me for this other girl. I felt we had no closure, we go to school together so I have to see him and this girl relatively often. I don't really think about it a lot unless I see them then sometimes I still wonder "what is it about her that made him leave me for her?" I don't want to be with him anymore, our relationship was terrible, but I just still have questions. My current boyfriend is concerned that this means I am not actually over my ex. Do you think you can wonder how things ended with someone even if you don't actually want that relationship back?

  • yes you can wonder why things ended without wanting to get back together
    Vote A
  • no if you wonder why it ended it's because you wish you were still together
    Vote B
  • im on the fence/I think it can work either way/I have no clue
    Vote C
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29

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes you can wonder about a relationship that occurred 20 years ago. It's very normal and we don't always get answers.

    But it's important to read between the lines. I'm sure if you think hard enough you can come up with an answer as tor why it ended.

    You said it wasn't great, so it probably wasn't great for him either. Why did he leave you for her? Well why are you dating your new bf?

    Same idea

    It's ok to wonder, if you guys still talk you can always Ask him. But it's not fair to your new guy to not give him your all by wondering too much. He will naturally feel you are not over it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course it's possible to think back about past relationships and wonder what went wrong. I don't think it has to mean you wish to be back with your ex. Reflection on the past is pretty normal; you live and you learn, right?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 8

  • It's not healthy to wonder about it. You might be over him but it might still feel like a blow to your self-esteem that he left you.

    The dynamics of why a relationship don't work usually don't boil down to a single variable, the full reasons are impossible to know short of being a mind-reader. So wondering about this is usually just kind of torturing yourself, you don't find answers but only endless questions.

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  • sure you can wonder why a relationship ended. i've often reflected on why or what led to things falling apart once a relationship ended even when i've definitely moved on

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  • That's definitely A: like the expression says "never waste a good crash" :D
    If something has gone wrong, for example a relationship, try to learn from why it went wrong and how you can avoid that situation in the future.
    Trying to analyze situations is a reflex we all have... and the best news in your question is that you're now happy with your new guy :D

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  • I think it is easily possible to think over things even if you're emotionally over them. What matters is that you're mature enough to realize what you're doing and thus avoid it when you can.

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  • I learned after years that the only person you need for closure is yourself.

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  • I would say you can wonder why things ended without wanting to get back together because as you said their seems as tho or you didn't put an actual reason aside from he liked the other girl so no actual closure or reason why.

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  • it's you not her.

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  • No i dont wonder it :)

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What Girls Said 1

  • haha! No (: I just don't think he matters anymore. I am on fence. But really he should be anyone ever. And i know that feeling like why did he pick over me? Simple answer: He just didn't like you nothing wrong with you. He wasn't interested.

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