Ex boyfriend of 6 years wants to keep contact with my son who isn't biologically his, is living with a girl I suspected him of cheating with?

So my ex boyfriend of 6 years wants to have a relationship with my son, we've been split up for just over 2 months and I first agreed to contact every Friday for a few hours so my son got used to him not staying with us anymore and tried to keep him out of this messy break up we've had he's only 11. My ex used to come down to my house first month every Friday to play video games with my son which was fine as I would stay out the way let them have fun, we had a big fight as reason we broke up was because I suspected he was sleeping with a mutual friend of ours, he had sent her a text saying he wanted to sleep with her and no one would find out because she wouldn't tell anyone, find out he's stayed at her house a few time so just blew up at him he said they were just friends and he only stayed there as he didn't like living with his mum as was just for a break, he said he wouldn't come back to my house after that and would just take my son out bowling etc as he didn't want to see me, my son was happy with going out to start with 2 weeks later my son didn't want to go out with him as he felt uncomfortable, he had heard us arguing about her and my son found out he's moved into her house he didn't think it was right and was hurtful to me, asked my ex if he could explain to my son that he's just staying there so he didn't feel uncomfortable about going with him and I felt that we should start tapering off visits, my ex said its nothing to do with me or my son who he stays with or who he is sleeping with as its only ever going to be himself and my son when they are out and that I am hurting my child by stopping him seeing him etc calling me psycho and not really nice stuff and he doesn't want me in his life ever again but wants my son in his life. Am I wrong to cut him out my sons life since I'm only trying to help my son get through our break up and trying to keep my son happy? And is my ex trying to keep a connection to me so he can come back if things don't work out?


Most Helpful Girl

  • he's trying to use your son to get to you... and tbf your sons at an age where he can grasp more and make his own choices as he's not really his child

    • I was thinking that was his plan just wasn't sure, I wouldn't take him back as couldn't trust him at all, it isn't his son but has been around since he was born we were friends for 10 years before our relationship so he's always been like a father figure, his real father isn't around much so seen my ex as a father figure but not wanting him getting used as a pawn by my ex. Thanks for your opinion

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What Guys Said 1

  • Uh... like 10 red flags went off in your message.
    Cut all communications with him. That was 6 years ago. Tell him to get over it.

    He may also be a raging pedophile, as there's absolutely ZERO reason for a grown man to want to be buddy-buddy with a little 6 year old boy. I'm sure you don't think he's the type. But that's what all parents of the victim say.

    • I think you read my post completely wrong my son is 11 years old I was in a relationship with my ex for 6 years, I have known him as a friend for 10 years previous to our relationship he grew up around my ex, he has been a better dad than his real dad plus my son could kick his ass if he ever touch him and he would be a dead man

What Girls Said 2

  • Why would you want to be a back up plan when things don't work out. Don't think he won't do it again. And no he is not the biological father so you need to explain to your soon the real reason he is old enough to know he is not his step dad think about the future you really think he's going to stick around got another 7 years ? Highly doubt that

    • I don't want him back couldn't trust him ever again, was just trying to figure out why he still wants to see my son if he's using him to get to me, they are really close he's been around since he was born we were friends before we got together.

  • If he is neither the biological nor legal father, then he cannot ask for that.


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