How do we remain friends?

I went on a date with a girl, we got on really well, even kissed at the end. We arranged to go on a second date, but she cancelled because she said her ex wanted to get back together and she didn't know what to do. I sent her a text after we met up again asking if we're just friends or if there's room for more. She asked if we could just be friends, and that she would understand if I didn't want to be but she still had feelings for her ex and wanted to give things another go. She went on to say it wasn't because she didn't like me, and that if he wasn't in the picture she would really want to give things a go. I told her I totally understood and just wanted to know where things stand. She said she was glad and would be gutted if I didn't want to, because she really enjoys talking to me and hanging out, and then she asked if I was okay with it, because she knows how hard it can be to put one's feelings aside. I said I would like to remain friends, however I quite like her and don't know how to be friends. What do we do? We still text, but it's less frequent. Do we meet up for drinks at all? I've never stayed friends with anyone I've liked before, how does one remain friends? Any advice will be very happily received. Thanks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's possible, but very hard to do. I have done that before but only with the thought of if things don't work out then I'll have another chance. It was not a good idea..

    • Where you the one who broke it off? So would you say that I should not be friends?

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    • I would suggest next time you two talk or text to say: Hey, want to hang out later?

    • Sorry, this may seem like a stupid question but how often would one meet up. Should we wait a couple of weeks between meetings, i. e. we met up on Thursday so should I wait a couple of weeks to hang out? Or is meeting more frequently, even every week ok? Thanks, sorry to keep asking questions.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Wow, It's awesome she was honest with you,
    If she is still holding a candle for her ex, you don't want to feel like the second option. And she should have the space/opportunity to figure out what she wants at her own pace.

    What's the rush to remain friends? Maybe just step back for a few weeks yourself, gain some more clarity within yourself and than re-think the position.
    Every chance you'll be more relaxed, possibly care less too


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