Most Helpful Girl
I'm curious about the answer to this as well, although I suspect I already know... He doesn't care. It sounds a lot like my previous situation, and after some distance and perspective, I've come to the conclusion that mine has some sort of personality disorder (narcissist, or possibly borderline personality).
We have known each other for 10+ years, and were very close several years ago. We reconnected over a year ago after losing touch, and were both seeing other people. Several more months go by and we're both single. We start spending more time together, and eventually one thing leads to another and we kiss. No big deal. But he ends up doing it again and telling me he's always had feelings for me and thought us getting together and seeing if we have a future is the right thing to do. I'm always cautious with men - he was well aware of abuse in my past, and why I take things slow, and he came into it with eyes wide open, or so I thought. Things were perfect at first, he was patient, we talked everyday for two months. The night I was finally ready to take that step with him, we were watching a movie at his house, and his phone kept going off, which had never happened before. He ended up telling me it was a co-worker he hooked with as a rebound from his ex (months before allegedly), and she wouldn't leave him alone. Seven months later and she won't leave you alone? Right... and I was born yesterday. I didn't end up sleeping with him, and after that he pretty much faded away.
The truth came out eventually, that he basically lied to me about everything, and was still trying to get back with his ex, who thankfully kicked him to the curb like he deserves. Good for her.
I think some people, like him and the guy you met, just lack basic human compassion or empathy, and think only of themselves. Sure, they both apologized for their horrible behavior, but was it sincere? My guess is it was to make themselves feel better about their own guilt. Some people are out only for themselves, and truly do not have the capacity to care for other people. I know this guy I know has had a really tough life, which was why I thought he understood about my own issues. In reality, the things he's been through have turned him into a monster that is unable to care for anyone but himself, and his faked compassion for my abuse was exactly that - faked in an effort to get what he wanted from me (sex and adoration).