What. the. FUCK. is this girl talking about?

i used to hook up with this girl 2 months ago when she was my roommate and i basically rejected her when she implied she wants to date me. then i moved out a week later cause she told me i can't stay there any longer.

now i contacted her and she said she's not looking for someone and that we can be friends, then she says "we're not friends but we're working on it" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? then she asks why didn't you ever say you wanted something besides sexual with me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not sure about the last part where she says "why didn't you ever say you wanted something besides sexual with me."

    To me it seems the problem here was communication. If you were living together and hooking up, she probably hoped you'd end up in a relationship with one another. When that didn't happen, she got upset. Did you guys talk about things beforehand and decide it was just casual, or did you just sort of leave things up in the air?

    Even when guys say they don't want a relationship, tons of women think they can change the guys mind by bending over backwards for him, having sex, etc. My guess is this is what happened. Hooking up with each other, especially when she has feelings for you, is not something that friends typically do. She may feel used and more of a booty call, meaning that you weren't friends, you were using one another for sex, regardless of the reason in her mind.

    Based on personal experience, I'd say either of these three are possible...

    1. She genuinely wants to be your friend, and is trying to explain that the friendship will be completely platonic, and the two of you will not be hooking up.
    2. She still has feelings for you, and is trying to be friends in the hopes that you will change your mind.
    3. She's unsure of how she feels about you, but wants some sort of closure about why you didn't want to be in a relationship with her

    Good luck, and just be honest. Gently tell her the truth, whatever it may be.

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    • well she claims that she's been seeing this guy "on and off" for a while and when we were hooking up they were "off". we hooked up back in October, and i have yet to see a single picture on facebook with him.

      we never talked about it, we hooked up twice two nights in a row. the second night i was in her bed and she said "i dont just.. do this with anyone. so if we're gonna keep doing this... you know". i dont remember what i said, but i ended up waiting till she fell asleep and went to my room. then i realized i forgot my phone in her room, and i went back and the lights were on and she was staring at the ceiling.

      is she possibly now testing me to see whether or not i just wanna hook up with her or see if i want to date her. because when she said "we're not friends but we're working on it" i think thats girl for "i want you to continue texting me". but i replied "what are you talking about" and she didn't answer.

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    • oh yeah, did i mention she just turned 19? so she's really young but i definitely do want her as my girlfriend

    • Well that's part of your answer there. She probably is relatively new to the serious/casual dating scene, and feeling just as scared and confused as you seem to be. I'm saying with a high percentage of certainty that she has romantic feelings for you. Of course I have no idea if it'll all work out, but I wish you the best.

      Text her one day and ask her to take a walk with you, or meet you at the park or somewhere public. A guy I was dating did that, and it made me feel so much more relaxed being on neutral ground, and took the pressure off of the situation. Tell her you're open to being in a relationship and seeing how things go between you. Good luck!!

Most Helpful Guy

  • lol... ur getting the run around. don't worry about it mate or you will drive yourself insane trying to figure out what girls are thinking. You should see what an ex of mine did to me on Vals day lol.
    You said you contacted her (first mistake)... seems like she wants something more than just sex, and im guessing you don't?
    here's a tip, keep it simple... first off, know what you want from this girl... then ask her what she wants and determine how to move forward from there.
    Example, if you just want to hook up again and she want a relationship... well... move on.

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    • all i said now was "i feel like we had so much potential for something great between us". and she replied "well you never did anything to show me that you wanted me besides sexually".

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    • Well then Tell her that, then Show her that by asking her out... on a proper date. The conversation should probably start with... "i know it was just about sex before, but now..." blah blah blah... women love that crap. talking.

    • thanks for MH

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • i have no idea tho, it feels like she's just trying to get you by using really uneffective methods... what the... i have no clue besides this

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  • She wanted a relationship... you hurt her and she retaliated by making you leave.
    She's letting you know your not going back to how you were.
    No none likes to feel their good for sex but not good enough for a relationship.

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What Guys Said 1

  • ""we're not friends but we're working on it" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

    I got no fucking idea, and I'm usually good at deciphering female BS. I think you need to stay away from her until she gets her head on straight.

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