Cheating with permission?

Please be open minded with this question. You don't know my full circumstances and you don't know what I'm feeling so please try to understand where I'm coming from. OK, in my past I wasn't really a slut, but my boyfriend thinks I was and has a lot of retroactive jealousy because of it. I asked him if cheating on me once or twice would make him feel better and he said maybe, yeah.

I said he could go out and hook up with a girl at a bar, but then I thought more about it and realized I was risking a lot since he can keep communicating with her and an emotional bond could start. He said maybe an escort would be a better idea if I was so concerned about him hooking up with a normal girl. I said yeah an escort sounds better 'cause you know she's just doing her job and there's no possibility of an emotional affair.

However, escorts are way hotter than me! At least the ones from reputable agencies. They all have big, perky boobs (mine are small), are incredibly thin with defined abs (I'm normal weight), nice legs, perky, firm, round butts and no cellulite! I'm afraid that even if it's a one time deal he'll enjoy escort sex better and be turned off by my body.

Like I said please don't judge, and this is a genuine question, he has horrible problems with my past, but I love him so much and I'm desperate to make this work. A friend of his had similar issues with his girlfriend's past, he cheated on her (behind her back though) and then she found out, but they overcame it and they're happy now. So I know that there's a chance it may help, and that there's also a chance it won't but please I'm just desperate for a solution here.

Of course I told him that under any of those circumstances if he is to cheat to PLEASE use condoms, even for oral.


Most Helpful Guy

  • When a guy who knows what he's doing knows a girl loves him to pieces, he should use it to his advantage to make them both happy and have a loving relationship. Unfortunately not all guys are like that and some go crazy from all the power they have over a girl and see how much he can get away with. Your friends are one case - how many other cases can you really think of when somebody has been unfaithful and everything has been great after? Close to zero, I'll bet.

    You're rationalising and idealising a situation with absolutely no logic whatsoever - think about it. It doesn't make sense what you're doing. You're allowing your boyfriend to walk all over you because you're so blinded by desperation. You shouldn't be bending to THIS CRAP. If you were dirty, constantly in debt and overweight and he asked you to clean up some more, get a job and lose some weight - acceptable. Why? It benefits you. This doesn't.

    "I'm just desperate for a solution here" - tell him it's you or the other girls. You don't deserve to be treated like this.


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What Guys Said 4

  • As themastaplan sid, what is he gaining from cheating on you with or without your consent? Even if you cheated on him, which you didn't say so I don't know if you did, since when does two wrongs make right? And if you didn't cheat on him then this makes even less sense. The only thing that comes to my mind is that he saw an oppourtunity cheat with no consiquence and took it.

    This doesn't sound like it's going to solve anything, it has a higher chance of making it worse in my opinion.

    • No, I haven't cheated he just can't accept my past and for some reason, he said he feels cheated on. A while ago he told me he knows I haven't actually cheated, but he feels like I have. That was before I mentioned him cheating on me.

  • what the hell...get rid of this guy, why are you dating a guy that want to sleep with other girls...sure when I was iwth my ex I thought girls were hot and id think damn shed probably be a good lay...IF I WAS SINGLE...i always wanted my ex, I never said I want that girl more than you, if she caught me looking at a girl id be like baby relax no one will give me what you do...i never wnated to sleep with any of them when I was with her, you want a guy to put you on a mountain and feel good about yourself...he doesn't seem to be doing a very good job...whats the heck is he going to get out of him thinking you were a slut by cheating on you...i just don't understand

  • I understand that you're trying to make your relationship with him more trusting and secure, but it's not worth it to give him an opportunity to cheat on you. Honestly, a true love relationship wouldn't feel the need to do that to begin with.

    Might I suggest, being as your already open to this type of behavior, that instead of allowing a random escort (possibility of stds) or some random girl at the bar (emotional affair) that you introduce the idea of a Swinger relationship. You can still be promiscuous and so can he, but you both do it together to please your partner, while still maintaining a loving and fulfilled relationship.

    These ideas of letting him please himself for his own satisfaction is very selfish. your past is your past, we all have one. Allowing him to openly sleep with others is going to start problems hardcore.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

  • Like themastaplan said, he isn't going to respect you more because you let him sleep around. If anything, he'd probably lose respect for you because you're letting him walk all over you. What happened in your past was just that- your past. If he isn't willing to accept you as you are now, then he has no business being in a relationship with you. What he is doing isn't about forgiving your actions or trying to make things work- it's about getting even, and getting even doesn't solve relationship problems.


What Girls Said 1

  • There is nothing called Ceating with permission, that's how I see it.

    Either he cheated or will cheat or its not really cheating after all.

    Cheating is when you have no idea about it and what's going on behind your back so basicly the question should have been Permission> Sleeping Around With Other Girls.

    The fact that he is not Ok with whatever happened in your past is just simply immature, as long as you were never a hooker or had sex with more than 50 guys then its non of his buisness. he should accept you the way you are and not change you into what he wants you to be.

    The fact that he is using this lame excuse so he could sleep around makes it very clear and simple, he doesn't want to be with You only, he just wants to sleep around and he is using this excuse, so when he f***s someone else he'd say Hey, I took your permission to sleep with other chicks as long as no emotions involved... which seems to me so stupid and simply can't stress enough about how lame that guy sounds.

    If you really want things to work out between you two, first thing you need to do is to tell him that Honey, the past is the past and we shouldnt worry about that, what counts is the present and if you re not willing to give me that then perhaps we shouldnt be together. either he is with you and only you or he just needs to find someone else who is okay with this cause obviously you re not and just so you know, it doesn't matter even if the girls he'll hook up with are less prettier or TOO UGLY to be alive that doesn't mean that he won't have feelings for them because after all, we don't fall in love with looks!

    You might need to consider an open relationship with this guy but just know this one, is not a keeper! an open relationship because this way both of could do whatever you want as long as its protected and you both know about it. that wouldn't be considered cheating but am not a bif fan of this honestly. it never works!

    Gve him time to make up his mind, let him choose either you and only you. or an open relationship , both can sleep around equally with no wrorries about it!


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