Should we break up? Pros / Cons

I've been with my fiance for two years... and I'm thinking about breaking it off. I'm 22 he's 23 and I proposed to him.

Pros

1. He's nice to me... very nice

2. He's sweet

3. He has a laid back personality

Cons

1. He sleeps all day

2. He has a sucky job but has a college degree

3. He can't tie his damn shoes

4. He doesn't want a baby

5. He hasn't proposed (2 years together) but I have

6. He doesn't want an apartment

7. He can't drive has no intention on getting a license

8. He relies on everyone else

9. He's a total mommas boy

10. He's scared of what his family thinks about everything

11. He's LAZY

12. He's scared of responsibility

I'm ready to move to the next level. I'm a pre-med student and I don't want to graduate and take care of him financially! I'm so confused.


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41

Most Helpful Guy

  • This happens to men too often, getting comfortable with their situations, getting things too easily in life and forgetting that they have to work hard their whole lives if they want to achieve any kind of success and keep the people they love around them.

    You really need to think about your future here and it seems like you are. If you TRULY love him, then give him a chance. But it looks like he needs a good hard kick in the ass. However you do that is up to you. Ask for space, tell him what bothers you. If he cares about you he will change his attitude. You are doing him a favour, remember that. It might require time apart (it probably will). Think it through.

    But if it really is a hopeless situation, then look after yourself and hope for the best for him. All those cons are deal breakers, all of them, and you know you can't be with someone with that kind of attitude. good luck.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • 1. I love sleep. I don't think that should be a criteria. unless he sleeps instead of doing things he should be doing.

    2. he's only 23, and it's hard with the job market. I'm graduating this june but I really doubt I'll be getting a real job. aka more school. ugh.

    3. you mean he can't or won't :S

    4. do you? is it something you really want? you need to find out his reasoning. maybe he's not ready for such things yet, or he actually has rationale behind this, and it's a decision he's made for a reason.

    5. I would take that as a hint that he didn't really want to get married, but thought hey what the heck, we're good together, she really loves me, why not. I could be wrong, but as far as I know if a guy wants marriage, he will ask.

    6. what does he want then? a house? or his parents' basement. where does he live right now :S

    7. that- I cannot forgive. even if you can't afford a car or insurance, get the damn thing. I don't understand people who can't drive because they don't want to learn and get a license, what everyone else is supposed to drive you around? besides, you need that thing for soooo many government id things.

    8. that can be a drag. and when you are in a marriage, it can take its toll. this is supposed to be a partnership.

    9. that's fine, as long as she doesn't interfere in your relationship. my grandmother did that a lot with my parents. now my mother detests her, literally.

    10. that is a problem. I am not going to elaborate, but in a married life, it will be more so if it doesn't change. family is important, but they can't interfere in what's going on in YOUR family, which you are about to embark on.

    11.everyone is lazy, I'm pretty lazy, but when the time comes for action, does he do something or let stuff pass him by?

    12. problem. which is why he probably hadn't proposed yet and doesn't want a baby.

    you need to discuss these things seriously with him. he may not be totally honest and may say what he thinks you want to hear, but you need to feel him out.

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    • Ok, I thought about this a little more actually.

      couldn't you sit him down, tell him you want to break the engagement because as it stands now even though you want marriage, you can't see marriage with him due to the following reasons: _______. tell him you need to know, REALLY need to know where he stands, what his priorities are right now, etc. and that you can't marry him like this. lastly, ask him if he really does want the two of you to get married and is he ready to seriously think about

    • Getting the rest of his life started?

      he doesn't seem like he is.

      don't make it sound like oh the pressure of marriage is off, just that you are having serious doubts about the relationship. if he does really want to be with you, and is at least somewhat ready to start the rest of his life, this will give him the push he needs. if he's just comfortable, then this is useless and you need to do what's best for you and lose him.

  • well this is a hard one but really it matters if you love him if your in love with him and really want to be with him then your gonna have to deal with those things but if you don't love him you shouldn't waste time because the longer you wait the harder its gonna be bottom line listen to your heart.

    if you have any question add me and ask away

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  • break it off! tell him get off your ass or I'm out and mean it!

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  • It sounds like you have already made up your mind.

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