Am I wrong for breaking up with her?

I don't want to share to much, my girl was supposed to do something with me one day, but instead went to hang out with her guy friend, and didn't tell me I found out, I got angry and didn't talk to her for days, then I broke it up




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Most Helpful Girl

  • I feel like you reacted how most people would. I mean most girls would cancel plans with a guy friend to hangout with their boyfriend. Plus her just canceling on you and going behind your back isn't right at all. At the same time I have more questions about this because if she's known the other guy longer and they've been friends longer that's a different thing. Plus you didn't really say you confronted her about it either.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 29

  • No, I find this a lame Duck Excuse and to make it Up to her, Get in Touch with her and Both of You.. Get on the same Page with no Rage.
    I find it was a Misunderstanding, and although it Is unfair of her to Have ditched you for the "guy friend,' She may have Had a Chick Dick 'Excuse of her Own going On here, Dear, where She was Afraid to tell You the Truth and just Wanted some Time on her own "Time,' and Needed Some Space with His Face, who is Supposedly A... Friend to the End.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Yes, it's okay to lie to your partner if you think you have a good reason. ?

    • Show All
    • "She was Afraid to tell You the Truth" sounds like condoning something less than honesty in a relationship, but I understand that may not have been your intent with that statement.

    • @OlderAndWiser Probably she was afraid because she knew he would react with wanting some space with a friend.. I do believe that on all these sides, Get on the same page with Honesty, No feeling intimidated and More Open lines of Convo. xx

  • Yes and No. You should have talk with the guy friend after listening to her explanation about why she did you that way. A man knows another man so base on his response you would have known how to handle it. I said no you were not wrong because she is showing signs on being untrustworthy. You sound like you want accept or deal with a girl who makes one false move. So I suggest the next girl you date make it clear from the beginning you don't like lies and such. This would help you not waste time with dating.

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  • I think you overreacted a bit by jumping to break up with her. However, I understand where you are coming from. That does seem kind of strange.

    If she's the type of girl that has always had guy friends because she's "one of the guys" then I would loosen up a little and talk to her.

    If she doesn't usually have guy friends and she bailed on you to hangout with another guy then thats definitely a red flag.

    Either way its hard to tell without any more info. Sorry about it man

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  • yeah especially it you didn't really talk it out first and hear her side. Proactive not Reactive...

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  • Personally, I'm a fan of inquiring about odd situations before making rash decisions. What if it was her cousin or something? Or an old friend who was having a life crisis? Sometimes there are good explanations for things. But if you asked about it and she had no excuse and seemed to not care about you, then yeah you should have broken if off.

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  • She has a life and she should go out with her friends and there isn't a problem with that
    But the fact that you both planned to go out and she did that isn't right at all but if she tries to get back to you get back to her but refuse to see her when she asks after a week or even more go out but first she needs to learn to respect you if my boyfriend did that I'll be so mad! I don't even let him talk to girls because he cheated once long time ago

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  • Bit of an overreaction, love. Should have at least given her the opportunity to explain. If the situation was reversed, you would want the same courtesy.

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  • Thats overreacting...

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  • A bit of an overreaction. Communication would be better

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  • It's understandable. If my boyfriend did the same I'm not sure if I would take it this far but I would be very mad! 😤

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  • Maybe there's something about that situation that you don't even know about. I think you should ask her and see what she says.

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  • Well you could have maybe talked to her about it, but if you feel that violated your relationship that I feel that it's okay.

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  • Well she cancelled on you to hang out with another guy behind your back... Seems kind of shady tbh

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  • Breaking up with someone is between two individuals and no one else so there's no way to be right or wrong, however, i think you should rethink it and give her another chance. If she repeatedly does that over and over again, then i think you should break it off. But if its the first incident, yea i would give her another chance. Everyone makes mistakes. x

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  • Well good for her. Anyway it wouldn't workout if you freaked out like that.

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  • no, you did the right thing. she sounds untrustworthy.

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  • That's wrong of her, no doubt about it. I would have been very upset.
    I'm sensing shades of grey here though, so a little more info might be helpful.
    Otherwise, this is to little info to use while answering such an important question.

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  • well, how long have u guys been dating and how old are u? (those are factors to take in consideration) , but I do also think u should of communicated with her and not over reacted.. if u care for her contact her and have an open discussion

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  • You need to give more info

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  • It happens

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  • Not wrong, she should have talked to you about before leaving you in the ditch.

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  • I'd be devastated too if someone tried to lie to me. I consider your reason for breaking up valid. I'd do the same thing if I were in your position. I don't tolerate lies.

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  • Breaking up is a bit extreme, I feel like you could have just talked about it and got past it. She's able to have friends of the opposite gender, but it is messed up that she blew off your plans. I'm sure instead of breaking up you should have figured out what happened. She could have just forgotten.

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  • Completely overreacted...

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  • As long as you are happy with your decision then that is all that matters.

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  • It's free

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  • If it were me, I'd talk to my boyfriend about it. I've had guys spend almost all their free time with their friends and not me. So I asked, if you can't take a couple of hours one day to spend with me, and would rather spend the whole day with them then we might need to part ways. What's the point? But without talking about it first, it does seem to be over reacting.

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  • There has to be mutual respect and boundaries within every relationship. She should take your feelings into consideration. I can't imagine anyone feeling comfortable in this situation. If someone crosses your boundaries by doing something which you deem unacceptable , and they have disregard for how you feel, then you only have two choices. Either accept their behaviour, or cut them loose.

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  • No not wrong... She should've told you instead of just canceling plans with you to hang out with some guy "friend" and didn't tell you.

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What Guys Said 23

  • i think it may be a bit of a overreaction. i definitely understand being angry that she stood you up. but if that is the sole mistake she made then i think it may be better to try and talk it out and forgive

    of course if you talked to her about it and she didn't apologize or have a good reason then i'd say breaking up was ok...

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  • Without knowing more about the situation, it is hard to say.

    But I would have a serious problem with my girlfriend, just blowing me off. Than to find out she blow me off to spend time with another guy, says a lot about where you stand in her life.

    As someone that went threw something similar, where I got blown off and lied to about why I got blown off and who they were with instead of me.

    I ended the relationship, just being blow off after you have made plans and than find out that they preferred to be with another guy instead of you. Read the situation for what it is, you have a right to be upset.

    As you have not shared the details of the whole incident, if this was not first time this sort of thing has happened. That no, you are not wrong for braking up. You only get treated by others, the way you let them treat you.

    Don't be this girls, or any others doormat.

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  • I understand the way it would make you feel, I'd feel the same way. Being blown off is hurtful enough the way it is, but to find out that she was with a guy friend too would make it 10x worse.

    However, i think it was a bit harsh to break up with her after one offence. Especially if she apologized, or had some kind of valid reason for doing what she did. If this was a common occurance I'd understand--but just once?

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  • Well it was nothing short of suspicious of her to do so. So I think you weren't exactly in the wrong. But then again, perhaps you should try talking things out.

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  • That comes from two things.
    1- Not sharing things with you about her life.
    2- Not doing what she said she would.
    SO , i would rather face her and talk to her about these two points. If the outcome is negative then i would leave. If not , then she is willing to fix those problems immediately so i wouldn't leave.

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  • Wrong. it seems wrong. Should have spoken to her. Even if things seemed wrong she deserved to explain or talk to you. I know, blocking away such people seems the easiest thing when you are stressed, but its the worst choice. You have to talk it out. Even now... maybe you can speak to her... make things clear. If the breakup is final so be it. But if you can speak to her about the situation. It will tough and embarrassing but try dude. All the best.

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  • Why do you ask if you were wrong? So what if you were? It's done, now. In a nutshell she's not allowed to have friends...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IY0sxSbh4Y

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    • The problem is not that she has friends but that she made plans with him and then ditched him without warning to do something with the guy friend. He never said she can't have friends, did he?

  • Communication would have been better but she disrespected you, you had every right, i may be the only one saying this but it was a decent choice.

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  • well if u share more people can relate situation better. from what I see now, u RIGHT !. she at least has to inform u before.

    but who know maybe u super jealous stalker boyfriend and she just want to hang out with her friend, then she is forced to don't say u nothing in order to keep u calm.

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  • Don't pay attention to people saying you're "overreacting", they are clueless.

    She should be prioritising you over her friends, especially if you had plans. The fact that she went out with her guy friend instead should tell you enough.

    Breaking up with her was a good idea, I would have done the same, and, hypocritically, most of the people claiming this is an overreaction would dump their S/O if they did it.

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  • Unless she somehow contacts you about how sorry she is and begs you to get back together for a second chance then I would just be confident with my decision and be glad that I didn't have the future stress of dealing with someone who would flake out on me and act shady; that is much better than regretting going with your initial gut feeling which is usually right so it is good that acted in such a decisive manner.

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  • If she didn't tell you then that is cheating and she knows that. You did the right thing. if you hadn't done this then she would n't respect you anymore.

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  • It is not a big deal problem to break up but she did a mistake for sure;I guess both of u come together and talk to solve it :) Love isn't east that.

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  • Congrats! He can now have a more mature boyfriend, you did her a favor

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  • You did the right thing... you deserve better

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  • No you have every right.

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  • Bravo ! Thank God there are still some strong men left in this world !

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  • She probably sucked him off just kidding.

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  • You already broke up, does it matter anymore

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  • well lets see how sorry she is , if she's not then let it go and move on

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  • I see your frustration dude; totally understand but you should have talked to her about it before ending the relationship

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  • No you did the right thing by kicking her ass out of your life...

    men should not be treated like crap in relationships. We want EQUAL treatment, not discrimination. We can't be kept hanging around like dogs.

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  • You did the right thing. Flush that turd. I'd be willing to bet that she was going to/has cheated on you.

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