He's going through Xanax withdrawals and a quarter life crisis... Is he playing games or did I fk it all up?

So this guy and I met back in Nov, we had both just gotten out of relationships with people we fell out of love with (he in September and me in October). The moment we met it was instant chemistry: physical and mental. I have a hard time trusting people from the get-go but with him I trusted him immediately. A lot of the things he would say about how he felt were the exact words I would use with friends to describe how I felt. It was great; however a couple of weeks into seeing each other he began to withdraw from the relationship. He said he was going through a depression and didn't want to burden me with it. I continued to try and be there for him and support him for 2 months, he was taking a high dose of Xanax every day and so sometimes he would ignore me completely or want to be alone. Finally 3 weeks ago he decided to quit Xanax and he went through really intense withdrawals, I would comfort him and he said I was able to take the panic attacks away when I was with him, we spent 3 days together at his house enjoying each other's company and when I left he withdrew completely again. Kept conversation to a minimum and finally told me that he felt he was leading me on because he wasn't in a place to have anything with anyone and that he didn't want to date anyone.

I don't like when people aren't direct so I asked pointblank if that meant he wanted to stop seeing me but he said no and that he just didn't want to label anything and didn't want me to have expectations. That was fine with me since I wasn't ready for anything serious. But he continued to be distant with me and finally I had enough and texted him to let him know that I couldn't watch him push me away and I was going to let him work through his issues by himself. He replied 3 days later telling me I was amazing and that he thought I was right in that he had to work through everything alone, I didn't know what to say so my message was short and in retrospect, rude.

I miss him so muc


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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah its tough! I don't know what to do! Just leave him alone for sometime or if not just call someone for help!

    • Right now he at his lowest point with meds. I use to take meds and i just be mad at everything or I would refuse to talk lol!

    • I want to really be there for him, I feel bad that I ended it and the way I ended it. How long should I leave him alone for? I hate that he's going through all of this by himself.

    • yea maybe ask for help leaving him alone can be dangerous!

  • It's pretty simple.

    He doesn't want to make any promises to continue seeing you or to have to check in with you, spend time together, behave a certain way, etc. aka, to commit. And you want him to provide these assurances. He'd rather split than commit.

    • It doesn't mean he doesn't think you're a cool person, just that you want something he doesn't or can't put himself into.

    • I never asked for any of that though. I was happy not having a commitment because I'm terrified of getting back into a relationship again right now. I just don't understand him pushing me away after I made it clear I wasn't expecting commitment.

    • Expecting him to text or call is a commitment.

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