To move on or keep trying?

I have been infatuated with this man for the longest time. When we first started to talk, I picked up the vibe that he was maybe interested in me, however he is very stoic and perhaps shy, so it was hard to figure out.

We kept talking and getting to know each other over time and I still thought he was interested, but there are some conflicts that keep the both of us from plunging ahead with the relationship, if that is what we both want.

Now, however, he has been having lots of problems, including finances, mechanical, job, and personal issues, so he has been pretty depressed and withdrawn lately. I can't tell if he still likes me or not because he is so withdrawn now.

So now I have the dilemma of should I move on and find some other guy while he deals with his issues and gets back on track or should I keep trying to figure him out and see if he still likes me?

I hate feeling like I am limbo, never knowing for sure if he likes me or if he is just depressed and that is why he is not trying. I don't know what to do anymore...


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, I can't be comfortable answering this question at this point. I see that there are some factors that you aren't giving us. There's more to this situation than you;'re telling us. Is he married or in a relationship? Does he have some problems--or you--that you aren't comfortable talking about? Well, my normal response would be to fight for the people you care about, but I can't consciously give advice when I know it could be harmful. I apologize. If you want to post more information here or message me, I'd be glad to give you a much more informed answer.

    • The only problems we have are that we both work together, he is a manager, I am a worker. So anything between us would get us both in big trouble. He is not in a relationship and neither am I, but we don't get to see each other outside of work too much, so it is hard to push forward. There is also an age difference, which doesn't bother me, but I don't know if it bothers him.

    • I still think that there's more to this story than meets the eye, but I think I know enough to give you an answer. So, he's your boss... and there's an age difference, and it's hard to meet each other outside of work. Okay, my advice at this point would be to schedule some time that you guys can meet and talk or spend time with each other. I know this can be a hard thing when you both work, but if you really want to push forward in this relationship, that's how it's going to happen.

  • OMG I been infatuated and I totally know how you feel.I wouldn't want you to leave me if I liked you.I think the girl I was infatuated with was also infatuated with me.It was so weird..(when I reached out she wasn't there and when she reached out I wasn't there.).Overtime I observed that she began to move on and that I should do the same thing also because I did not want to get hurt again.I tried to forget her but she kept crawling back to my mind.

    You might be in the same spot as me(or might be that girl I am infatuated with, because your around her age).I bet the only reason that guy is depressed is because of you. I know I was when my infatuated lover began to move on without me.You should test it out.. go to him tmarrow and talk to him (say hi or sumthing) and if he smiles and becomes happy for the rest of they day then it was you that kept him down.

    • I am not the reason for his depression, he has serious problems going on in his life right now that would make most reasonable men depressed and withdrawn. I don't want to move on if there is something between us, because I think he would be good for me and I for him, but it is hard to hold out hope when there is nothing to hold onto.

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